Today, the girl I'd been seeing for a few weeks lost her mind and yanked my car's e-brake while we were on the highway. Why? Because I said I wasn't really interested in having kids. Guess I'll cross that relationship off as a "hell no". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML
Today, my girlfriend flipped out and dumped me. According to her, not stopping for a dog in the road makes me a sociopath and unsuitable for a relationship. Yes, because slamming on my brakes or swerving into the next lane while doing 75 on the highway and causing a wreck made so much more sense. FML
Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend of one month. She actually expected me to let her keep the vintage car that I've been rebuilding for the past two years, and when I refused, she threatened to burn my garage down with us still in it. FML
Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML
Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I crossed the street without holding her hand. FML
Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML
Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, the man I thought I'd marry dumped me in a parking lot, because I insisted that any boys would be circumcised so my son wouldn't be confused. He literally said, "Circumcision is a deal breaker. Get out of my car." FML
Today, I proposed. She immediately said no and then broke up with me. FML
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Top comments
meatloaf11 23
Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.
bradleybaldwin 9
Bitch put both your lives in danger.
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Comments (54)
Shawn2095 18
Dude. Run.
holyshmolly 13
Or ditch her and drive away!
meatloaf11 23
Time to pull the e-break on your relationship.
bradleybaldwin 9
Bitch put both your lives in danger.
DoomedGemini 38
And others
crudeandrudeguy 29
Because he might not be interested in having kids... especially at this stage of the relationship. So what?!?! Nut job
XSeraphinX 18
Clearly a huge red flag. Glad you're getting away from her.
Teyros 24
Better get out before she gets a hold of your e brake. (A for effort?)
SecundusSecunda 27
I rate it 5/7 Well done, #5
Teyros 24
Thanks bud. It's a life of approval from others.
withered 30
Stop trying to make 5/7 happen. It's not going to happen. Don't know why people were impressed by that bad excuse of a "trolling".
laden_swallow09 35
I was tempted to post my confusion on what 5/7 is supposed to mean, but after some consulting with UrbanDictionary, it seems like 5/7 is indeed every bit as stupid as 32 says it is.
iiTzNeeNerz 26
That's a quick way to put a stop to a relationship.
lilchica22001 22
I see whatcha did there and I'm likin it!
AverageAvarice 23
Press the like button quietly please.
tigerisabelle 31
Jeez, that escaladed quickly. That girl would have driven you crazy. It's obvious she's got no idea when to put on the brakes. Don't reverse your decision; push the pedal down and speed outta there. You auto know when to get out.
emeraldarcher74 30
Run fast, run hard.
chosha_fml 27
Scary that psycho might being having kids with anyone.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Oh you don't want to have kids, well let's just potentially kill us both then, cause that will solve everything. Seriously, what the hell goes through these types of peoples' minds?