Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
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Top comments
racerapj 10
There still was an explosion in your pants.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should've pulled out your pickaxe and built a wall around that shit. Creepers are serious business.
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Comments (102)
bnotverynice 2
Your scared of a creeper? It's a game my lil 4 year old brother is so bad ass when he plays mine raft that he will go up to them and start attacking lol
AlexaWuzHere 31
I go up and attack creepers, but when I hear that hissing sound and I wasn't expecting it and/or I can't find it, then it scares me. And if I heard that sound outside of the game, I would panic too, I don't want creepers blowing up my barbecue.
jjessen 20
It's like playing paranormal at 3:00 in the morning, then trying to go to sleep, it just scars you, trust me, you never forget...
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Mine Raft! It's a little boat that you sail through the mine.
Kiki242 19
I didn't know minecraftxwas considered scary.
Kiki242 19
Damn it autocorrect. I meant minecraft.
AlexaWuzHere 31
I think that was more of a typing fail rather than autocorrect.... Autocorrect would have made it a real word. If it was your autocorrect and I'm wrong, then your smartphone isn't very smart after all.
Kiki242 19
Yeah it was autocorrect. My iPad has done it before. There's a way that you can save words for your iPad to remember and it did that.
bTOhno 3
Minecraft is not really scary. However, Slender and SCP are terrifying.
videokid2000 10
It is considered scary if you play it a lot. Many a time have I screamed when I saw a zombie jumping down a waterfall.
porcupineattack1 5
Minecraft SCARES you???
Fylives101 2
Probably not. But Creepers certainly do. Dude you need to live a little. Play come ub3r realistic minecraft.
sirpantselot 22
How is your brother the idiot in this scenario?
unknown_user5566 27
He poured soda on a hot grill. How does that NOT qualify as idiotic?
Judahsh 8
Couldve been an accident
klinkingg 0
Lol... I get freaked out when i hear the creeper sound, totally understand why you cunted in your pants. FYL
Pseudo_Nym 1
XD that sounds like exactly something I would do. I flinch in my chair whenever one sneaks up on me
perdix 31
You could have blamed your grandma's incontinence, and had your family focus on her as you stealthily put on a fresh Depends.
blueandpurpleroc 4
I'd hate to see you when you play.
MelTheGreat 23
Please get out more.
Dixbfloppin 11
He did. At a barbecue.
outoftown 27
#62, Looks like it will take OP more than a barbecue. Yes, more outings.
newburton13 26
I don't even play Minecraft and that happened to me once.