Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue and, unbeknownst to me, took a bite of really hot bacon. In my ensuing panic, I grabbed and took a swig of my friend's beer. It wasn't beer, at least not any more. She was using it as an ashtray, and I got a mouthful of cigarette butts. FML
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
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Top comments
racerapj 10
There still was an explosion in your pants.
ManInTheMachine 20
You should've pulled out your pickaxe and built a wall around that shit. Creepers are serious business.
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Comments (102)
greeneye_fml 12
I hate to imagine your reaction to Endermen.
fbluunfnfiyes 0
I thought my dad was a creeper once !! I freaked out
thehurricanekid 6
You got scared shitless by what you thought to be some imaginary thing from a video game. And your brother is the one who's idiotic?
KingPaw 1
I love minecraft
kronium 0
That's a very nice steak you have there... Would be a shame if something were to happen to it.
HeartOfLead 24
thatsssssssssssss a nisssssssssse barbecue you have there misssssssster.
buzza24 0
Bullshit
PoppaSoda 5
Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerd. Get a freaking life.
justiinbieberrxd 0
only blazes n endermen r scary
GDIZZLE93 11
Ya get off the computer and keep playing minecraft on xbox