Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, I told my five year-old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
Today, my sister and I got into a fight. I came home to find everything in my room covered in ketchup. FML
Today, I ate the last Hot Pocket in the house. My little brother threw a temper tantrum and poured a bucket of water all over my desk and Macbook. My mom’s response? “Aw he’s just a little boy.” My brother is 13. FML
Today, I was eating nacho chips with my nieces when I started to feel that some were wet. I look at my niece and notice she was sucking on the chips, and putting them back in the bag. FML
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Top comments
mackdeezy 22
Well we know what their priorities are. And who's the favorite.
TaiReiSi 12
Kids these days are so easy to... Piss off.
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Comments (153)
mackdeezy 22
Well we know what their priorities are. And who's the favorite.
alexwow1 13
Dude your dister is freaking hilarious
Welshite 40
You misspelled duster. I always chuckle at my mop's jokes, but my duster has a really dry sense of humor. Not my style.
alexwow1 13
Ment to spell sister and it sucks that your parents did it
Welshite 40
Mint* I like those too; particularly spearmint flavor.
PenguinBitch 44
@#6, how do you know number 1 has a dister?
Stephy94 9
The same way he knew OP's parents ****** a mint. ;)
Mossears133 15
6- Do tell, how is pitching a fit and taking a leak on the floor hilarious?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
ya ops parents do favor and its completely unfair and rude. sorry op :(
DocBastard 40
Alexwow - I see you're new here, so please let me give you some advice. 1) Spell shit properly. 2) Don't post your stupid comment under #1 just so it gets seen. That's called threadjacking and being an attention *****. 3) Don't correct a past comment by making more mistakes. It only makes you look more foolish. Got it? Good. I do this because I care and because I'm a nice ******* guy.
ImAFaker 29
Yeah. Listen to DocBastard. He's a doctor. Doctors are always professional and correct. Oh wait... No... They're not. This site taught me that... :( But he's a nice guy...
abeg157 14
Dude did you know read a former FML about this ladies visit to the gynecologist? That guy definitely was not professional.
Soloman212 28
Hence "they're not, this site taught me that."
Maycontainnuts 17
Life and having to see tons for medical conditions has taught me that. Be glad if you never have to see one. And I'm sorry if some people are naive enough to believe otherwise, but in my lengthy experience, all doctors are bastards.
gotaplanstan 28
I'm pretty sure Alexwow, that OP is most likely HAPPY that her parents did it.
schalk 12
as if a joke or pun never backfired on any of your comments
mariepastyglue 30
Your parents need new parenting lessons, Op that in no way is your fault!
SwaggCapone 11
And to think this is our future generation. We're doomed
bobak_can_ani 7
You said it! I already feel sorry for the society 20 years from now.
Zimmington 21
I hate reading FMLs about young people sometimes because of comments like 76 & 95. Every generation has It's **** ups and losers get over it. Who is going to flip our burgers, clean our floors, take our orders, pick up our garbage, and wash our cars until they retire? Stop trying to blame everything on "the new generation"!!
Maycontainnuts 17
That's what they said 20 years ago.
SwaggCapone 11
I'm pretty sure if I did that my parents would've knocked me flat on my ass.
Zimmington 21
128- So would mine. There's good parenting and bad parenting you can't just blame it on this generation.
janellecaitlyn 9
Well, that sounds pleasant.
TaiReiSi 12
Kids these days are so easy to... Piss off.
myoukei 31
Sounds like urine some trouble for upsetting her.
Zaros_fml 24
Alright, how long will you pee keeping this up?
gotaplanstan 28
Peeple please...these puns stink.
courtz94 24
It's oblivious that she's spoiled, or is just a brat. Probably both.
jkmartinjk 16
And it's *obvious* that her parents are *oblivious* to her being a brat.
bunhop74 16
For real.
AtomicDiamond87 15
Its obvious that her parents don't believe i'm discipline...
hcollins1 18
Have you heard of the term 'spoiled brat'. It would've been easier to say.
clemsi 20
@48 it is nice to meet you discipline, I have a huge list of people that you neglected to visit while they were growling up
roopstetter 7
wow seems like everyone on this thread has a bad case of fat fingers tonight.
courtz94 24
Ok so I spelled one word wrong. Big deal.
Llama_Face89 34
48- they don't seem to have an issue disciplining OP
illegalbeagle69 23
93, I wouldn't say it was spelled wrong, you just used a different word.
courtz94 24
Well that's true. I guess I was wrong again.
Goldenberry_fml 14
114 - yeah, you were.
JACKxRAWR 22
Nothing like a tantrum to get you through the day, eh?
br00kr 22
I take that she is spoiled rotten. I know what you feel. Every big sibling feels like that.
mn_shr 22
That's hardly fair, how come the younger siblings get all the love?
bobak_can_ani 7
I concur. I used to be the oldest brother.
razzledazzle21 23
96 - Used to be? How do you change from the being the oldest sibling?
br00kr 22
96- do you have divorced parents like mine? I'm only not treated fairly because I'm not my stepdad's child. I am still treated better than my other sisters though considering that I actually work.
flashback.miss 28
sounds like your sister... 8) has a chip on her shoulder. but seriously, hopefully they stop enabling her behaviour.
br00kr 22
It's not that she has a chip on her shoulder or even that I do it's just that she has always gotten everything she ever dreamed of and never gets in trouble lol. Same with my brother but he isn't a hypocrite that screams and cried about everything.
graffitied_love 20
Relax. Chip on the shoulder was just being used as a pun :)
br00kr 22
Lol ok sometimes i take things way too seriously.
superdom 12
Who pees on the floor
RoboCunnilingus 23
Op's sister.
ceremonials 6
#40, as simple as your reply may be, I loled
ottokat 15
ohh I started giggling so hard like the schoolgirl I am.
ottokat 15
reading over that comment I wonder if I was completely there in the head when I posted it.
Royalistic 8
Asian parents would have whoop me with chopsticks