Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Today, I bumped into a guy I bullied for years at a bar. He was actually cool and laughed about it, but my stupid drunk ass kept urging him to hit me because I felt bad about it. We went outside and he thrashed me. At least we're friends now, I guess… FML
Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML
Today, at the bank, some poor bastard got brutally dumped in front of everyone, prompting some total spastic behind me to cough and mockingly say "Loser!" The guy thought I'd said it, and started shoving me around and threatening to tear me a new asshole. FML
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
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Top comments
Mauskau 36
You're an asshole
Thalankwyte69 0
thats dumb to throw a peanut at him. YDI
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Comments (161)
CrazyManNo9 29
Just wondering how stupid one person can be, but that's just me...
E_ve 9
Awwwwwwww, look at the boy tryin' to be tough! *cooes* Dude, you're not even allowed in a bar and the strongest drink you can buy yourself is Red Bull. Come back when you're grown up. Jesus
E_ve 9
Wow... *clears throat and cracks neck for the epic sarcastic speech I'm about to give* "Your friend is SUCH an overdramatic DICK for not wanting to talk to you after getting beat up because of you! And especially over something as honorable and mature as throwing peanuts at a stranger in a bar! FYL, you must feel so wronged and betrayed! Your friend should just get over himself and I personally believe he should let YOU beat him up for abandoning you in your noble quest of being a fuckhead." Is that what you wanted to hear? Happy now? Because, dude, you're the dick and YDI if all of your friends stop talking to your dumb ass. How can you even justify saying "FML" about this?! FyourfriendsL for ever having been your friend in the first place
chilldude69 8
today at the bar despite my pleading for him to stop my friend thought it was hilarious to flick peanuts at this young lad sitting at the next table, and after my friend went to the bathroom the young lad proceeded to royally kick my ass. FML
yoshiyakiryu 20
I've seen plenty of YDI FML's on here, but this is one of those rare times when words cannot even express how much someone deserves to have a ****** up life.
Raheemdplayer 7
This is hilarious, but it would have been funnier if it was you who got beaten up.
dailydreamer 0
YDI for being a dick.
mnkyc_mnkydo 5
Ok.......soooo one guy is enjoying a nice beer and has some immature idiot flicking peanuts at him, another guy is with the immature idiot and is beat up for his actions, and then there's you. You're probably lucky that your friend is not talking to you and instead of beating you up.
gigi03 5
Fhl not yours
bubo_fml 11
Some friendly advice: "Beware, the ass you kick today could be the ass you'll have to kiss tomorrow!"