Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
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Top comments
JustinKirby 20
Don't you just adore drunk people?
awilso13 8
Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.
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Comments (109)
angelofsaturn 23
Damn. You'll just have to cry yourself to sleep knowing that such a wonderful specimen has slipped thru your fingers. Damn the luck! Just think of all the puke you didn't get to clean up. A terrible loss i know.
turtles4life 24
Some people are just assholes before they even start drinking. Don't think too much of it, OP. :)
Shandra78 9
Why do people waste their time in bars? The drinks are overpriced, watered down, the floors are sticky, the bathrooms, a health hazard and it's where society's assholes go to roost and complain about how they can't get laid by 'hotchix'. Gross. On all levels.
rockhead1270 5
Who cares
Taterbug716 9
Wow that is completely harsh
middlenamefrank 8
You should have responded, in your deepest voice, that you're not interested because you're not gay. And if you were, you wouldn't be into girlie men.
xxsakuraxx 29
Once upon a time, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everybody died. The end!
hordriss 14
That's when you tell him he's an ugly **** and you wouldn't be interested anyway.
ninety 25
I'm sorry to hear that. Don't worry too much about what he said. You just may not be his "type."
CzarLaval 9
Maybe you should be around people that look worse than you if your really that upset about it. It really is all about options at the time.