Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
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Top comments
JustinKirby 20
Don't you just adore drunk people?
awilso13 8
Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.
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Comments (109)
AlwaysWatching 27
He said that because of the "beer goggles"
hemonnne 8
what a bitch!
Mauskau 36
If he has to get that drunk, it doesn't matter what he thinks. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
silverkaast 9
beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
pretty_pretty27 1
Futacy 30
Just take a moment to assess the situation. You've got your shit together. He's drunk off his ass. You win.
MrBoredomioo 18
...why is your profile pic Stewie making out with himself
Futacy 30
Why does your profile pic look like Mario mid-climax?
Witchylady 18
That is just rude. I hope you slapped the Aussie. Hard!!!!!
worldclassrager 41
Don't take it personally drunk messed up vision you're fine
Petey801 5
That's when you pour a beer over that guys head & say he's the one who got wet from you! ;)
xxsakuraxx 29
I gotta remember this one! XD
cryssycakesx3 23
no. not even a good comeback for someone loaded.
kelsorg 21
and this is exactly why I dislike people. sorry op that was harsh.