Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including my ex. FML
Today, I was drinking at the local pub and started talking to a really cute guy. I bent down to pick up my bag and the second I did, I felt like I was going to throw up. I clamped my mouth shut in the vain hope that I could block it but as I stood back up, vomit sprayed out through my nose. FML
Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML
Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML
Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker, "Turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you." I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
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Top comments
Red_Ralph 16
That was a "wasted" opportunity to punch that guy. I'm so sorry
DadMom 13
You should've responded by throwing up in his drink. That'll show him
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Comments (26)
Sparx1_1 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I think this is more of a YDI if you get that wasted and party with people who have no filters.
Dave_Davington 34
So basically, if you ever attend a party, you are responsible for everyone else's behaviour, not just at the time but weeks into the future as well. Sure, why not?
smallandroid 26
Eh, I have a bad gag reflex when it comes to liquids like alcohol, so I've accidentally done something like this 2 times in my life, before I had even gotten tipsy. OP might not have drank that much yet either.
domolovesyoshi 33
Then the key is to not drink
LyricaSilvan 30
I'm guessing you're also one of those people who thinks the solution to STDs is for nobody to ever have sex, too, 13...
cootiequeen4444 11
#14 i think #13 was talking about #12. if you have a gag reflex due to liquids /like alcohol/ maybe you really out to not drink... just a thought not a lecture.. though I would not be thrilled to party with someone who is prone vomit that readily when it could be avoided if they didn't drink... just saying... though I'm the type that's mentally on their knees praying no one drinks more they can hands and starts blowing chunks. I get grossed out easily. but honestly a gag reflex to alcohol seems odd. it's typically not an odd consistency or anything. I mean... what?
Red_Ralph 16
That was a "wasted" opportunity to punch that guy. I'm so sorry
NeatNit 33
What are you talking about? He sounds like an all-around nice individual, not obnoxious at all.
ruudseriesx 25
You can never again go there. They know.
DadMom 13
You should've responded by throwing up in his drink. That'll show him
jeff_zz 13
how does one puke accurately enough to get in a margarita glass?
nonsensical 26
I'm assuming he felt it coming and put the glass to his mouth instead of puking all over the floor or himself...
guy_incognito___ 20
Oh come on OP. Everybody has this kind of storys. In a few weeks you will laugh about it.
hilamonster06 21
You should have asked him if they let him out of the hospital early and if he was taking his hallucination meds. Him denying that would be like a written conviction.
nortwdschick 25
Shit happens sometimes. Similar thing happened to me once. Was at a bar out in the country listening to an outdoor band. Had a bit too much to drink and ever so casually puked in my red solo cup...(luckily it was empty at the time). Tried to do it as "discretely" as possible...did have a drunk guy ask if I was ok and then complimented me on my aim. Was slightly embarrassing at the time, but I laugh about it now.
Casual_Cthulhu 12
Dude, have fun, laugh it off, life happens. Just file it away in stories to tell your grandkids about shenanigans and move on.