Today, I was at a bar, when a heavily drunk guy came up to me and slurred "Fuucckkk lady, your face... not even with beer goggles!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML
Today, during a drunken night out, a really trashed friend said to me, "Jeez, even when I’m drunk, you're really ugly." FML
Today, I was at a bar with my girlfriend, and I noticed an obnoxious guy from college I used to hang out with. I tried to avoid eye contact, but all of a sudden he shouted, "There's the guy who puked his margarita back into the glass!" Everyone stared. Yup, that was me, just last week. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, a drunken customer blindsided me after I told him I would not be giving him a free drink after I watched him put his own hair in it. FML
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, a guy drunkenly professed his love for me. He did this after walking in on me peeing, which he decided was the time to tell me such a thing. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, I was at a bar with a friend. A guy came up to me, took my drink and drank it. I laughed and jokingly said "now, you have to buy me a drink." He said "I would rather buy your friend a drink." FML
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Top comments
JustinKirby 20
Don't you just adore drunk people?
awilso13 8
Wow, that's definitely a blow to the ego... I would've cried lol.
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Comments (109)
DemosthenesMB 13
I'm not even sure what that means .-.
limabeans101029 21
He was basically calling her ugly
Earths_Venus 25
Only in Straya!
weveallbeenthere 30
this is why I hate drunks. its not just about looks.
naaudisz30 3
why did this get thumbs down?!
AlaskanG 27
You do realize that being drunk doesn't make you a drunk, right?
mommax3 1
only ugly people say it's not just about looks
MrsKilown 20
Damn dude! That's rough.
RedPillSucks 33
That's when you snap back... Dang!!!! Your breath stank!!!!!!
FranklySpeaking 11
Its a good thing that drunk person said that! They just did the douche-sorting FOR you. Consider it a favor.
cryssycakesx3 23
if they were that drunk I believe the sorting was already done.
FranklySpeaking 11
Dammit Chrissy, you usually have something worthwhile to post. Now you "dun goofed" and made a redundant statement. We all blunder, but I was really hoping for something funny in conjunction to my comment.
mybubbles2000 13
What an asshole. Sorry OP.
fairylights85 13
He's probably compensating for something.
gracehi 33
I hope you replied, "And not if you were the last man on Earth. Not even if we were born the last two people on Earth and the continued existence of humanity relied on our offspring. That there would be the end of our species. I'd go live with more intelligent and sophisticated beings, like monkeys."
kingdomgirl94 29
That's a bit wordy. Maybe something short and sweet.
gracehi 33
Like, "Go **** yourself, 'cuz on one else will?"
mybubbles2000 13
You said exactly what I was thinking.