Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
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Top comments
blobzorz 0
this is a huge ydi. don't drive drunk idiot
Nakedsquirrel 5
Go to ******* hell, OP. Here's hoping you wind up with your head inside a tree trunk sooner or later. Two of my friends have died thanks to people like you.
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Comments (173)
blobzorz 0
this is a huge ydi. don't drive drunk idiot
im2good25 0
ya
RustyGuns 0
OMG DWI? YDI STFU
jdomfml 0
I was killed by a drunk driver
mitsoi 0
don't drink and drive
jdomfml 0
did u have a threesome with them?
willou35_fml 13
:-$
sparkz2010 0
lol
sparkz2010 0
go die In a hole stay in jail dick head
Apache_fml 0
roflcopter
ImaginaryFoe 1
YDI in so many ways. Drunk driving? How bad was it that you got pulled over in a parking lot? You don't have anyone else's number memorized except your ex? You deserve the arrest, fines, and unemployment coming your way.
MrMaD_fml 2
**** the bullshit and what everyone's talking about, I totally drive better when I'm drunk. I'm too busy falling the **** apart worrying about the ****** po'po to do anything dangerous. trust, folks are more at risk when I'm driving sober, they call me Larry Leadfoot.
cartesianlogic 0
roflcopter
killerviral 0
omg u ******* retard he got it in his own apartment so I don't get why he would get it what was he driveing GTA 4 come on
TheAbsentOne 0
You obviously deserve it.
okeetard 2
how were u killed if ur on here
idkweird 0
#104: I have a few friends who absolutely drive better when they are drunk, and it hasn't stopped them from getting a DUI. Driving while drunk is just stupid. Period. Where I live, DUI checkpoints are legal. That means they stop EVERYONE. They don't need to have cause. If you try to turn around before it, you're likely to get pulled over by another cop in the area watching. Doesn't matter how well you drive. If you end up in one of those, you're going to jail.
Reyo 2
#104: Oh I totally get where you're coming from. I happen to throw farther when my arm's broken, and run faster when my ankle's sprained.
JohnyF 0
Fake n' Gay plus YDI
crazycornn 0
#9 made my day :D
subMortal7331 0
*sniff*
jdomfml 0
ty
tchaikovsky93 0
****** idiot.
fmlluver1415 6
#138 hahaha
Dynosaur_dollie 38
if you drive better while drunk get the **** off the road. Drinking impairs your thinking, hence you thought that fat chick was a hot babe, or that texting your ex to tell him that you are still in love with him at 2 in the morning, was an awesome idea. So while you think you are driving so well, you're actually putting everyone else's life at risk. The drunk that killed my brother thought he was driving just fine, denied to the bitter end that he was in the wrong.
IfuckedMYlifebad 0
all I can say is YDI you loser.
FYLDeep 26
This shit happens all the time in Wisconsin. Looks like the laws are finally going to get a little tougher.
CyrusTheBlue 0
You reap what you sew. You deserved it.
oswald_fml 0
Learn how to spell before you chastise others, okay?
crookedangel 0
#130 what part of that is spelled wrong?
Chandy_fml 2
It's sow, not sew.
Soare 0
Actually, #130, it is sew. Look it up, retard.
hoarder23 2
not really, sew refers to stitching something together with thread, sow means to plant. You reap what you sew means you get what put in
seekingawug 0
"you reap what you sow" means you harvest what you planted. sewing (manipulating fabric with a needle and thread) has nothing to do with it.
grimpow_fml 0
sow is a female pig, you ******* morons
Chocolate_Chunk 2
Sow 1 : to plant seed for growth especially by scattering [..] http://tinyurl.com/36t6cus I'm not even a native english speaker and still know this, you should be ashamed. You ******* idiots.
chunkalicious 7
You know this? More like go to a dictionary website and ctrl c. It's clearly copied directly from a website, stop trying to sound smarter than you really are.
rawr_ily96 24
At least he's smart enough to know that words can have multiple definitions.
Asstazztic 8
Wow you deserve this one
Nakedsquirrel 5
Go to ******* hell, OP. Here's hoping you wind up with your head inside a tree trunk sooner or later. Two of my friends have died thanks to people like you.
WHODATNATION 0
at least u get a nice laugh about that.
FantasticFin 0
your a ******* asshole. don't have kids. cause more people like you would be a danger to society!
Endorpheus 0
Going to have to agree with snickerdoodles on this one.
hsshae 0
I love you..... not
WHODATNATION 0
wow wait a minute - was he convicted already? or are you one of the jurors? what about "not guilty until proven"?
Cristaderzi 0
Agreed!