Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Ambien nights
Today, my roommates told me about all the stupid and embarrassing things I did last night, none of which I remember. Drunk out of my mind? No, I just tried a new sleeping pill after weeks of insomnia. I still barely slept. FML
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Drugged?
Today, I went to spend time with friends. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in my bed with several blocked contacts and text messages, saying that what I did was unacceptable. No drugs or alcohol were involved, and I have no memory of this. FML
Out of it
Today, I woke up in jail. Apparently I incorrectly recited the alphabet, complete with singing “Now I know my ABC’s, won’t you come and play with me…” during a sobriety test. I wasn’t driving. I don’t even own a car. FML
Takes one to know one
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Extreme disorderly conduct
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I got charged with drink driving, without even driving my car. FML
Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Nice try
Today, I had to go to court to see whether my driver's license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML
Top comments
br0ccoli 15
Did you make a toast on top of Ceasar's Palace in Vegas? Check for tigers.
Alastrina_fml 20
I think there is WAY more to this
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Comments (164)
BlankUser000 0
How did this happen? Lol
GetHardOrGoHome 7
She swallowed the sleep meds with a lil vodka. That's how
chris36taylor 2
What the ****..?
jonriise18 3
He*
diidiimi 10
Parasomnia. It's actually a huge problem with some sleeping pills. Nasty stuff.
thiscrazything 1
Damn, throw those pills in the trash! Maybe you should try some warm milk or camomile tea.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Hangover part 3.
KeyboardWarrior 10
"I just drank a fifth of vodka, dare me to drive?"
xcrazymonkey32x 0
My Question is when you get Arrested for a DWI they make you blow. If he would have been on just sleep meds he would have blow zeros across the board. If he goes to court I bet he can get this dropped.
tekcor 2
Maybe not. DWI can mean Driving While Impaired. It doesn't matter if impaired by alcohol or sleeping pills. Depends on the state I believe. Thankfully, this is an area I have no first hand experience in.
sadistmonkey 19
Could be a DWI-drug and the OP didn't bother saying the whole thing.
marcranger 29
85, OP could've refused to take the test, which will automatically get you arrested, or he could've passed the test but gotten arrested anyway for "suspicious behavior." It sucks, but in places that are cracking down on drunk driving, the cops don't **** around. All OP cab do is hire a good lawyer.
Keliosan 6
The world may never know.
Jezlovespink 5
Its happened to other people before whenthey dont drink the police pull them over they also do that test and other ones and they like to be assholes and charge them with whatever they feel like it and put these poor people in jail just so they can show there boss there not lazy.donut eating cops and meet there daily goals and hi five each other thinking there badass but yes you can fight the charges and get them dropped my moms drink was drugged before she drove home didnt feel good blacke! Out while driving and the cops gave her various tests she passed all but they still gave her a DUI she payed some fines only later did they drop them cuz they did not have enough evidence especially from those tests....
saksxalmo 20
Sorry I'm replying to #1, but I think the OP should see this. You should definitely talk to your doctor and see if you can find sleep meds that don't make you sleepwalk (or drive, in your case), but if you can't find any, you can try going to sleep in a sleeping bag zipped all the way up with mittens on (so that you can't open the sleeping bag.)
pinkcrayola 0
For some medicine like ambien this is actually not unheard of. People sleep drive and even can end up committing crimes and waking up the next morning in jail with no memory of it.
tjv3 10
Well you can get the case dismissed . You might also consider locking your keys up. And change the meds
loopsy_fml 14
88, what else can DWI mean?
dbt88 15
123- driving while intoxicated
xgetxbentx 13
It's a rare side effect, the common one is just basic sleep walking around your house, possibly having a conversation with someone and even making a snack while doing so. It's not so common for someone to actually go sleep driving though.
xgetxbentx 13
Sleep walking is the bigger problem, records of sleep driving or even leaving the house are pretty rare and it usually occurs in patients who would sleep walk prior to the medication, which will then make your issue worse.
xgetxbentx 13
49 - if he's on prescription medication it's because he's truly an insomniac, all the tricks or natural substances to help someone fall asleep who just has a hard time on occasion, don't work on people with insomnia. I've tried every type of herbal relaxation tea they make, Tylenol pm, unisom, melatonin, hypnotherapy tapes, etc... None of it works. He definitely needs to change prescriptions, but the home remedies, natural supplements, and over the counter medication don't cut it for everyone.
xgetxbentx 13
85 - dwi doesn't always mean intoxicated, it applies if you're impaired by drugs as well, prescription or illegal, and given that it was a side effect of his sleeping medication, it would be incredibly obvious that he was on something that was impairing his ability to drive. Odds are since it's a side effect the charges will be dropped, granted that whoever prescribed him the pills would go in and explain that he does in fact have a prescription, that it is a more uncommon side effect than basic sleep walking but entirely possible that he wasn't consciously aware of even getting in the car, and that they will be changing his prescription (and probably require that someone stays with him the first few nights to make sure he takes to it well) in hopes of preventing any future risks.
christyxbee 15
Ambien would explain it. They warn about strange sleep behavior/patterns in the pharmacy - and on the bottle for these reasons. If OP drove a car while sleeping due to being under prescription meds, it's also considered a DUI. Alcohol doesn't always have to be involved. It sucks because you still get it on your record even though it wasn't a purposeful, deliberate action, unlike so many DUIs out there today.
br0ccoli 15
Did you make a toast on top of Ceasar's Palace in Vegas? Check for tigers.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Probably had the sleep medication switched with some roofies. Maybe a Chinese gangster is after you and you have $80,000 with you. Hope Mike Tyson isn't after you.
ALpein 0
And if you had a buddy with you at any point, remember: always check the roof.
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Check your pockets! The clues are always there. Use receipts to make a timeline.
nofearjenshere 12
Also, do you happen to be missing a tooth? Your lateral cisor, perhaps?
teddy4nyy 13
Marry a stripper and became a step dad lately?
Random951 12
Did you find a little baby boy whose mom you got married to in a little chapel last night? Was his name Carlos?
wironandine 8
That was lame.
davek 36
Is there a little bloke that looks like a Korean dictator hiding in the freezer?
Keliosan 6
I guess you would know.
rinse087 0
Are you missing your grandmother's wedding ring?
KatieKupcake4195 9
Did you find a naked gay Asian in the trunk of a car and a tiger in a bathroom and a chicken just chillin' also?
br0ccoli 15
you guys are awesome.
Alastrina_fml 20
I think there is WAY more to this
mattorama 15
Not really. Those sleep meds can really F with you.
RedPillSucks 33
People have been known to drive while on ambien and other sleep meds.
murdersquirrel 15
I take Remeron which has made me get up in my sleep for a snack. Ambien is worse for doing things while in a sleep state. This is just an extreme case of that.
sud4 1
Hangover 3 Coming to theaters near you!
kainpwnsu 19
Sounds like it's time for a change in medication...
LouisianaBob 9
sounds like it's time for some kind of compensation from the drug company
sweetpea41800 0
I think you did wayyy more than lay down my friend.........
subterra 7
Ambien.
EvilLilCupcake 10
I took Ambien. It sucks! I kept sleep walking and talking in my sleep. Not fun. Not fun at all.
MrGroovy28 7
When you take Ambien you have to be in the correct mindset and close your eyes with the thought that it will work. After 20 minutes and you are still awake is when the "fun" begins.
cherry72 13
Been there done that...Ambien is wicked. It also changes your personality. My hubby hates it when I have to take mine. But I don't take a full pill anymore only half.
Legendoflaw 4
I had to stop taking Ambien. I went a full day without remembering anything...and on that day I went to the doctors office, the one that prescribed it for me. Needless to say they told me to dispose of the remainding.
Lumbeeman86 6
Too right. That shit is crazy.
touchesthelight 8
When you said Ambien, I'm agreeing with you. My mother is a true insomniac and takes Ambien. When she does sleepwalk, she is nutty as a fruitcake.
GoldenGrizzly 7
I had a similar thing happen. I have somnombolism (sleep walking) and they gave me medication to help with it. I woke up with the police knocking on my door telling me that I had been seen writing bad words on the wall by some girl on our floor.
davek 36
Or somnomnomnombolism- sleep eating?
GoldenGrizzly 7
Actually, I make sammiches for my boyfriend and make him eat them at like three in the morning. Then I make a mess of the kitchen, yell incoherently at him to clean up his mess and go back to sleep.
Jamesdean1956 0
As long as your asshole doesn't hurt I'd say you be fine eh
Honestly_Lainey 21
What if OP has a sore jaw?
anarchistpunk 3
Dude its just an overnighter. I know it was a joke but thats gross.
Mercedes16 7
Are you, by any chance, friends with Alan ?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
We are the 3 best friends that anyone could have!
LookOnBrightSide 12
OP reminds me so much of Fat Jesus. Where's Doug?
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Black Doug or white Doug.
loopsy_fml 14
Ummmm..... There are WAYYYY to many Alans in this world. A last name would help. Also, I don't think OP will answer you. That'll give away his identity. Dadadaaahhhh.......
loopsy_fml 14
There are WAYYYYY to many Alans in this world. A last name would help. Besides, it's not like OP will respond. It'll give away his secret identity. Dah dah daaaahhhhh............
loopsy_fml 14
Sorry about the same comment twice
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Someone might haved DRUGED your drugs. Yes it's very possiable.
jonriise18 3
Drugged*
shoopd 19
Possible* If you were going to correct them, how did you miss that one?
laden_swallow09 35
Wanted to share the fun!
pyroknight_fml 5
The more likely possibility, my typing-challenged friend, is that this is merely a TYPICAL, scary side effect of sleep meds like Ambien. The shit is MUY dangerous.
acetheone 8
#55 am actually typing-gifted :) english is not even my first language.