Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML
Today, I woke up in jail charged with a DWI. I wasn't drinking last night and the only thing I remember is taking my prescription sleep medicine and lying down. FML
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, I was arrested for drinking in public. It was my friend who was drinking; I was taking the alcohol from her so she wouldn't be arrested. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML
Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML
Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML
Today, I got locked out of a building that I work in (I work night shifts). I locked my phone, wallet, and car keys in the building. I had no way of contacting my boss or getting a ride. I had to walk home at night, almost got hit by a car full of dudes yelling slurs, and had a woman scream at me from the passenger seat of a car. FML
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Top comments
blobzorz 0
this is a huge ydi. don't drive drunk idiot
Nakedsquirrel 5
Go to ******* hell, OP. Here's hoping you wind up with your head inside a tree trunk sooner or later. Two of my friends have died thanks to people like you.
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Comments (173)
elexona47 0
http://www.helpjacqui.com/home.htm YDI. Asshole.
UberFail79 0
Who's right, elle? You, the excessive curser, or me, the actual police officer? Sometimes I wonder why I come to this site. About 20% of all these FMLs are just "Today, I intentionally broke the law, and the stupid 'po-po' (God, I hate that word) caught me and rightfully punished me for something I clearly did wrong! FML!" Contrary to popular belief, laws are made to be FOLLOWED. Because sometimes when people break them, other people DIE.
Blackie_fml 0
Laws are not about what's "right". They are simply legal tradeoffs for behavior that legislators don't like. Does assotiating your job with morality make you feel better about tasering people and invading their privacy?
ParkerBeach 1
You got it all wrong you are guilty until proven innocent in the United States regardless of what the Constitution says.
kppadgett 0
dumb ass.... 'you could have killed someone....go die' that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard. you want him to die, because he could have killed someone else.... (but he didn't kill anyone) your a dumb ass.
mzhonesty 0
You get no sympathy from me. Next time you want to get drunk, walk.
acinom 3
**** that I would just say I don't know anyones phone number and wait for them to give me one out of it or just let me out.
iota_fml 0
snickers by any chance are you a laywer grammar Nazi XP jk lol
johnny_doe 0
You guys, you're not really being balanced here. Speeding is involved in the majority of fatal collisions - more than drunk drivers. Studies also show that talking on your cell phone is actually more impairing than being legally drunk. The point here is that drunk driving is stupid and reckless, but so are lots of behaviors that drivers do every day - yet nobody gets on their case for doing those the same way, unless they get into an accident. If you have ever driven after having had any amount of alcohol (protip: this is a great deal of drinkers, and probably most), the only thing separating you from OP is that nothing bad happened to you. If you were to get stopped for something else, you could be charged with DUI in most states, even if you were below .08. FYL OP, for now, but you did what you did, so YDI, too. I hope to God you learned your lesson.
kaitlynxann 0
I wouldn't call this a YDI or an FML. I'd call it more of a LYFHAETCETBYAOOJ (lucky you for having an ex that cares enough to bail your ass of of jail).