jobless
France
Today, I've been dating a girl for a year and she's only touched my penis twice. Once by accident. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anon
Canada
Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML
hjgjh
United States
Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML
Anonymous
Excuses, excuses
Today, I saw a girl making out with presumably her boyfriend. This wouldn’t be a problem if she hadn’t told me she was asexual and didn’t like to be touched. The worst part is this isn’t even the first time this has happened to me. FML
Anonymous
Singapore
Newbie
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, I was struck with a white-hot pain, and in the confusion thought her vagina had contracted hard. It turned out it was actually my uncircumcised penis retracting for the first time in my life. FML
Boyufd
Show and tell
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
oops
Victoria, Canada
Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML
20month dry spell
Today, my girlfriend thinks I'm sex-obsessed because of the number of times I've asked for it. I've asked exactly 3 times this year, one of which was on my birthday. She said no all 3 times. I'm usually too scared of her temper to even try. FML
shitfaced
Sassenheim, Netherlands
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Bill
United States
White lie
Today, a girl I like was taking her phone out of her pocket and two condoms fell out. Last week I'd tried hooking up with her and she'd said that she only has sex with a man who is her boyfriend. So I said, “Oh, new boyfriend, huh?” She said, “Nah it’s for hookups, gotta be prepared!” I guess she forgot she lied to me. FML
Anonymous
Netherlands
Today, after months of Tinder-ing, first dates and being rejected, I finally was able to hook up with a girl. We met, we kissed, we danced and I took her back to my place. She then promptly tried to make out with my roommate. FML
Top comments
infantrygirl 0
Oh, shut up. If you can't stand to be with a girl who has morals, you don't deserve her.
popcorn_fml 0
it may be hard for some of you to believe but you CAN have a relationship without sex.
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Comments (162)
onlyinyourdreams 0
what a nice girl she is. hold on girly, dont let go!
lil_ham1644 29
So are you saying that girls/women that will have sex are not nice? I'm 22, in a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend & we have sex all the time. He is the only person I have ever slept with. I consider myself a very nice & helpful person. I hate this stereotype that women put on ourselves & others that sex is something to be hidden & virginity is the most precious thing about our bodies. Everyone has sex eventually & as long as you're be responsible & safe about it, there's no reason to be ashamed or be judged about it.
HyperFlirt 0
Stop complaining about her behind her back. I will say this; I would become frustrated if I was dating someone for a year without anything happening, and I'm a girl. However, I wouldn't talk about it behind the guys back, and complain, I would talk to him about it. I'm sure the girl has a reason, maybe she's just nervous about it. Maybe you have to take the first step! And above all, STOP COMPLAINING ABOUT IT!
julzziee 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
haha she's a prude! talk to her and tell her it bothers you!
cna1216 15
As many others have pointed our, shes not being a prude; she simply has morals and standards. She may be looking for more of a commitment, she could be scared, or she could just want to wait a while. Theres nothing prudish about being cautious. If thats what you think, no wonder youre on this site rather than with a girl - youre too much of an ass wipe to hold on to any girl worth holding on to.
apersonthatisme 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Okay, if you are over the age of 19, one of you has to be gay. Or your girlfriend is a HUGE cocktease.
ruchg1 5
No. Some of us are Christian.
cra_z_turtle 0
what was the other time like?
awish 0
I cannot believe people think so lowly of a person with morals. I have a line i will not cross with guys granted i don't mind fooling around more than this girl but i am tired of being told i am not worth dating because i want the relationship to mean something before i do certain things. Seriously, why is it such a bad thing to have morals?
rallen719 3
I'm the same way, you go girl!!
AllOrNever 0
A relationship shouldn't revolve around sex. If your girlfriend wants to wait to have sex (for whatever reason), you should respect her decision. Talk to her about this.
Das_Kut 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Had a simular relation years ago, the difference is she never touched me, and we where togheter for 1year and 9 monht's, after that, I cheated on her, and saw how sic my relationship was, ended it, and she understood :) She had some real problems giving affection in any way, my girl now (the one with wich I cheated on her) has a higher libido than myself, it's like I came out of hell, straight to heaven! ;)
Sholloway 0
Damn. Harsh.
gkings18 1
that's what happens when a girl is like that
deja54 0
Why on earth do so many of you think having a normal sex life and having morals can't happen at the same time? If you don't have a sex life that keeps you happy, move on and find someone you can get along with and you can share a decent sex life with. And screw the rest of you who don't understand that.
pommeblossom 0
So what?