Raprotcommander
United States
Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Abington, United States
Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
dypshyyt
United States
Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
louise
United States
Thanks for the memories
Today, I bought a cutting board at a Dollar Store that had a helpful kitchen guide printed on it. It was supposed to list “liquid conversions” but instead said “liquid conversations.” My husband quipped that it reminded him of me in college. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
ash
United States
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Jensen
Hoffman Estates, United States
Need beer now
Today, I went kayaking with some friends, and I had an empty beer can dedicated to throwing cigarette butts in. After running out of beer, I took a big swig from the only can in my kayak. Twice. FML
geeb
United States
Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML
notalcoholic
Philippines
Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML
Anonymous
Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML
KyngJulian
United States
Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML
Anonymous
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Top comments
zack12255 0
not working for you huh?
mmmskittles 3
it's the beer's fault. must've snuck into your house while you were out busy.
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Comments (232)
zack12255 0
not working for you huh?
TheDrop 0
why is OP even still alive?
Mierda2k 1
what's so bad about using a car breakdown cover manual as a coaster?
lottso88 4
that's AAA. AA is Alcoholics Anonymous.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Wow 75, you can't tell the difference anymore?
disneydork96 0
Hahah 75 I was wondering the same thing at first
mystomachurts 3
OP- Call your sponsor. Call someone in your network. Don't feel embarrassed to go back to a meeting after relapsing.
joeb95 0
you might be a redneck if you use your AA book as a beer coaster
afdude87 6
agree with 139.
iloveloosy12 0
op isn't a very anonymous alcoholic
Donarex 8
81 - in the UK AA is the breakdown people
irokyoursox 6
at first i thought it said "AAA" and i thought "why is that bad"-"oooooohhhhhhh"
zimandme123 0
what's AA???
christian50 0
High my names Bill, and I have a drinking problem.
minktheshrink 0
wow. way to screw up the spelling of "hi". congrats you are either officially drunk or dumb (possibly both)
minktheshrink 0
how does spelling hi incorrectly constitute that as a joke? I understand that in AA people greet each other in this fashion when introduced to the group but spelling hi incorrectly makes no sense in a sober mindset
wisericky 12
High Bill :)
Bano360 25
Low Bill
Kelita 0
haha u guys crack me up.....OH high Bill!!!!! :-) hehe
morgan320 0
High, my name is Rider. My bill isn't high. It's low. loooooooooooooow Riiiiider.
lolfish111111 0
thank you 71 their gay
morgan320 0
No problem, mate. Happy to help.
tnb0005 0
hi*
hasaz6969 0
Cool story
magnetic_aura 26
I may get wrong, but I think that's a reference to "Bill W" one of the founders of AA. Recovering alcoholics frequently refer to themselves as "friends of Bill W".
snafu63 0
wow. you're very weak willed. here's a suggestion, try using self control instead of quitting all together.
carcinogan 0
quitting cold turkey is bad. real bad.
piiing 0
#20= cute dog. AND- quitting all together is only bad if you've been drinking very large amounts each day for a very long period of time. other than that, it's ok. if in question, consult a doctor first, or you'll know for sure if you start having seizures after 2+ weeks of being sober.
brighteyes81 0
Idiot, there's no such thing as self will when it comes to alcoholics. Get educated you fool.
JoshGHardy 0
alcoholism is not a disease stupidy is ok yea alcholisms and addiction self control and support is a simple cure so yea you get educated fool.
JoshGHardy 0
alcoholism is not a disease stupidy is ok yea alcholisms and addiction self control and support is a simple cure so yea you get educated fool.
JoshGHardy 0
alcoholism is not a disease stupidy is ok yea alcholisms and addiction self control and support is a simple cure so yea you get educated fool.
JoshGHardy 0
alcoholism is not a disease stupidy is ok yea alcholisms and addiction self control and support is a simple cure so yea you get educated fool.
brighteyes81 0
Actually you ******* dumb ass alcoholism is a disease. You using the word stupidity is ironic. Get educated you fucktard and read the DSMIV (it's a book about diseases). Guess what sherlock? Alcoholism is in that book so please read something before thinking you know anything.
dirtherder 1
hate to prod pendatik, but, 'box of rocks*' maybe? maybe it's a regional thing.
Angi95 3
whether it's a disease or not it is an addiction which is hard to get rid of. I mean like butting nails tons of people do and say they are going to stop and never do. and alcohol is way worse than that it's a lot easier said than done.
JoshGHardy 0
pendatik you do realize i spelled it right the first time the second time i hadnt but its not a huge deal im not writing an essay so i dont give a **** my phone. (iphone 4) has a grammer fixing program i shut it down so i dont have to type everything perfectly so it wont change a word completely and no the **** its not a disease (alcoholism) you choose to start drinking you damage the receptors in your brain and they grow a dependancy for the extra chemical spikes and thats not a disease either im sorry if u dont agree ok i dont drink smoke huff chew sniff or do any drugs so i dont claim i have a drug related disease (which dont exist) they shall never exist
JoshGHardy 0
pendatik you do realize i spelled it right the first time the second time i hadnt but its not a huge deal im not writing an essay so i dont give a **** my phone. (iphone 4) has a grammer fixing program i shut it down so i dont have to type everything perfectly so it wont change a word completely and no the **** its not a disease (alcoholism) you choose to start drinking you damage the receptors in your brain and they grow a dependancy for the extra chemical spikes and thats not a disease either im sorry if u dont agree ok i dont drink smoke huff chew sniff or do any drugs so i dont claim i have a drug related disease (which dont exist) they shall never exist
brighteyes81 0
JoshGHardy guy. Again, the facts are that it is a disease and that there is a genetic link and genome that says alcoholism can be inherited. Take a biology class or a health class (you might actually get into that one). So, to recap, the most educated people in those fields (biology, human/health services, etc) disagree with you. Hmmm.
brt3420 13
haha **** dude that's dope! hahah **** AA thats ***** for *******
fistnazal 10
aw yea brah! ****** *******! .....
GeekGnome 0
I like what I c
kcnutt10 1
Too bad she doesn't same the same about you. Although she might have said the same back if you weren't such a lazy **** and actually spelled out the three letter word "see."
eclecticstrings 0
you forgot to say "haha" again
fistnazal 10
Andy Bernard: When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of soco, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.
hihi1212 1
umm u dont look old enough to drink...
TardxxxCake 4
so you had three nicknames? moral of the story. you're a drunken dumbass. that or seriously lying to look good (apparently but I think you're just stupid)
fistnazal 10
lol I think it's halarious you took that comment seriously 33... it's from the office
piiing 0
lmao 27. love the office!
FlonkertonChamp 6
i love you for that.
JCHammer 5
Nice
joooeee 3
lolz great quote
forever_shay 0
aren't you Badass.
mmmskittles 3
it's the beer's fault. must've snuck into your house while you were out busy.
Froz3narr0w 0
OP should call the police for an investigation.
iBrandon 0
you fail!
breathemein 10
cute
Peacewind 0
Looks like you need an intervention
XxSKELETOxX 0
I personally prefer the Barrett .50 cal.
JLT22 0
haha well played sir
none_for_me 5
AA is for quitters. Don't be a quitter!!
brighteyes81 0
No AA is for alcoholics fucktard.
ipwnlosers 4
Yeah, alcoholics who want to quit. Idiot.
emmanizzer 6
Why are there so many angry people on FML?
lillygreen024 0
ur a fucktart it was a joke dumb shit
sovetskiy 8
what exactly is a fucktart?
BlackHoleSuns 0
Fucktart: The Neanderthal virgin's best friend. Cheaper than a prostitute, and if you're starving you can always eat it afterwards. This is just my take on the word. Idk the exact meaning to it but it's a very fun word to say. It just kinda rolls off the tongue. Fucktart, FUCKtart, fuckTART.... I'm done now :)
brighteyes81 0
No idiot just stop before you hurt yourself. There are many people who go to AA that don't want to stop in the begining. So please don't speak on what you obviously don't know. And for the girl with the wierd face, it's not a joke when people read that then think well I can't stop because people are projecting that I'd be a pussy or whatever for doing so. Guess what happens to an alcoholic like that? Jails, institutions and death! It's not a joke. FYL
nuhuh 1
Not an FML, just a "you're an idiot"
pandapoopDX 0
oh the irony!