Today, I went to confession. I told the priest that I had an intimate relationship with a woman that I'm not married to. He chuckled and said, "You know, lying is a sin too." I wasn't lying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was in confession telling my sins to the priest, he called me a "pain in the ass." FML
Today, while helping at my grandma's church, the new Orthodox Priest encouraged me to come to confession because he was sure I would have "a lot of stories to tell" and finished by seductively winking at me. FML
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
Today, one of my employees lied to his mother and told her that I’m his girlfriend, so she actually came to invite me to Sunday dinner. Nice woman, but I had to tell her he lied, since I’m married, to my wife. She kicked up a huge stink in the shop and accused me of using her son for "hetero sex". FML
Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML
Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, at a bar, a drunk girl kissed me, so I went home and confessed what happened to my girlfriend. She forgave me but took it as permission to admit she’s cheated sexually at least once a month for over a year, then got mad I didn’t immediately forgive her like she forgave me. FML
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Top comments
LeChuck 0
Well (by being catholic) you made your own bed now lie in it love me some sin
greenfinch 0
Ouch.
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Comments (85)
greenfinch 0
Ouch.
gigi_bella 0
I'm just waiting for that guy that lectures us about Christianity and morals to come on here. I am Catholic though. Why would he say that? Strange priest.
kris18gc 0
wait. having sex withsomeone your not married to is a sin! dang Americans are screwed
hilda_kitty 16
dude... not all Americans are bad... but then who am I to judge the people south of me, eh?
actionwaters 3
*lectures on Christianity and morals*
xNephilim 19
#59 Yeah because religion is strictly American. Idiot!
wisky_fml 5
****
livgasms 4
actually Americans and all their abstinence crap have a lot less pre-marital sex than us Brits lol. thing is tho, none of us care, we have a good time. ;3
cocobulla1 4
Kay, if ur catholic u can still have sex!!!! u cab even have sex every day!!!! u cant ********** tho.... but u can have sex so it's all good!
jamieleigh_315 0
#63 it was a joke u dumbass
bbodin33 7
Dude I read your bio that's the only time I read fml's:)
phobes 0
You crazy catholics. Did you use a condom? Pope says no to that too :/
rachelpfitzner 3
hahaha
lindon555 0
Lol
LeChuck 0
Well (by being catholic) you made your own bed now lie in it love me some sin
danielleeycakes 3
oops, I didn't mean to give that a thumbs down..
suxs4ulol 22
i thumed down for u
Jimboom 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well.. I'm sorry to say but if you actually went through with sleeping with another women then you obviously don't love or respect your wife. If the feeling in mutual then it might be time to call it quits. Sometimes in life you have to cut your losses and walk away.
BrEnNo1023 5
he's not married.. And for the OP: FYL for thinking you need to go to CONFESSION. do what the **** you want, don't let some retarded religious system control your life. sin is just an ANCIENT method of social control used by the early popes in the dark ages to control the lower class servants and slaves. YDI for being fooled even in this day and age that sin exists.........
cantthinkofawitt 0
54, you=win
effyoubitch 5
THANK YOU! shit.
kkyl 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
number 54 I say this in the nicest way every one has there right to their religion and belief no need to judge if u want have sex before you are married go right ahead nobody is stopping you just remember God is Always and I mean Always watching you
jackal181 7
He never said he was married, just that he was being intimate with a women that he isn't married to... Which is also a sin in the catholic religion. IMO that just is a great source of marriages ending due to people being incompatible in bed OR being miserable because they want to separate but can't, because that too would be against their religion :)
ericbrat20 0
When did he ever say he was married? I just interpreted it as if he was just having sex with a woman he isn't married to, which is a sin in Christian faith.
Jimboom 12
Ahh. Sorry if I misread. If he isn't married then I don't see a problem here. Waiting til marriage is great idea in principle and curbing the already bulging human population growth can't be anything but good. But for me sex is just too big a part of a relationship (ie: you have to enjoy it as much as you enjoy the rest of the time with that person) and if it's not right then there will always be at least 1 party being left disappointed. Which will in time only lead to arguments and resentment between the 2 people involved.
mattiscg 22
true true 100 % agree
inktree 0
Did you really think "ahh this is a sin I'm such a stinker" while you were doing it? I mean unless you even considered not doing it because of, you know, the sin, isn't it a teeny bit weird to confess about it? Jk. I guess. Catholicism, man!
Vincenzo_fml 1
Are you married? Does he know that? If you're a young guy, he might simply be assuming that you're not. Realistically, sex out of marriage is common today, he might have meant it more out of surprise that someone would confess to it than as a specific insult. Lying is a sin too, people do it all the time, have you ever heard of someone going to confessional and confess to their priest that they told a lie? Yeah, I thought not.
mastercrammer 0
why would someone try to lie during confession? if it's not for a prank, then someone wouldn't probably go through all the trouble of going to church and confessing to a priest. tsk. the priest didn't have faith in the guy. haha
travon 0
This is just my opinion. You should have leaned over that chair and slapped the holy ghost outta that man.