Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML
Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I am completely mortified. At my father-in-law's funeral, my husband put a bottle of beer on the coffin and announced to the room his dad was such a tight-fisted sod, it was the first drink he’d ever had on him. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML
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Top comments
nzhx 23
I'm sorry, OP. I know not having a good relationship with your father is both difficult and frustrating. However, considering your birth certificate is a necessary and important document, I'd hide it from him yourself the first chance you get. You'll need it in the future, and you're ****** if he ruins it
Tamandua 19
My dad would just say something along the lines of, "Your birth is the reason I drink anyway" to justify it.
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Comments (51)
nominaski 25
Same with my dad. We barely speak to each other unless we have to. Sorry OP!
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Maybe try to put it somewhere safe so that doesn't happen again? But that sucks OP!
may14th 26
It was probably intentional... assuming you don't just leave a document as important as your birth certificate lying around.
toastbrot 9
depends on how messy someone is. it could happen to me, even though I try to be careful with important stuff.
nzhx 23
I'm sorry, OP. I know not having a good relationship with your father is both difficult and frustrating. However, considering your birth certificate is a necessary and important document, I'd hide it from him yourself the first chance you get. You'll need it in the future, and you're ****** if he ruins it
syki 22
I mean, I agree with most of this, but he isn't actually screwed if the birth certificate is ruined/damaged. It's pretty easy to get a replacement. I don't have terrible parents, but I do have very forgetful ones, so I've had to file mine as lost twice and get duplicates before I moved out and took it with me.
Xamry14 10
I agree with the person above me. It sucks having to replace it but it's pretty easy to do. It's just a pain especially if your a busy person.
brezzyanna 17
Really? Where I live, you can't get a copy. If your ruin the original, you're screwed
nzhx 23
Where I'm from its an extremely difficult, lengthy and costly process to replace a lost or ruined birth certificate
callsign_banana 19
Even though he may not be a good dad, enjoy what you got, because it's been 9 years without mine. Just try to make the best out of it.
DoomedGemini 38
No. I'm sorry you lost your father but that doesn't mean op should appreciate his if his is a jackass.
countryb_cth 38
I have to agree with 25. I'm very sorry to hear that you lost your dad however that doesn't mean OP needs to appreciate theirs. Some people are just not good parents and their child should not be forced into liking them. Especially if the parents are neglectful like OP's or abusive. Sometimes it better for the child to just let go and not be in contact with their parents. Any boy can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a dad.
derperbear 8
My dad has been dead for 12 years and he was a piece of shit. Not all fathers deserve to be appreciated. Telling someone to appreciate their asshole dad is ridiculous.
whysobeachy 37
I was lying on my front, and while ironing his clothes, my dad used my behind as a table to put his ironed clothes on. I found it pretty funny, actually.
niiickk_ 7
whats the point of telling us this??
whysobeachy 37
#11- It seemed a little bit like OP's story (except this isn't an FML in any way), so I thought I'd share it.
sinverguenza 11
Well, might as well make yourself useful.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
At first I read your comment as he ironed his clothes on you and I was very confused as to why you found it funny and not excruciatingly painful.
whysobeachy 37
#27- If it was because I phrased my comment wrong, then I do apologise. My English is starting to get a little rusty.
Tamandua 19
My dad would just say something along the lines of, "Your birth is the reason I drink anyway" to justify it.
kowsee 22
Sorry OP, living it. It happens.
nickie_94 18
Passive aggressive behavior can hurt more than words. I hope one day you and your father can work things out
bearbear120 27
I know you can order copies of your birth certificate. You might consider doing this so you can have one to keep it safe.