Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting for my grandmother at the train station, a girl walked out and climbed into my car. When I cleared my throat to tell her of her mistake, she screamed and ran out as if I was a criminal trying to abduct her. FML
Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML
Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML
Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML
Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML
Today, I was driving to a gas station because I'd noticed I was almost on empty. Literally a block away from the gas station, my car broke down in the middle of an intersection, and I had to push my car to the side of the road, only to be questioned by police for "suspicious behavior." FML
Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
Today, I was at my grandfather's house and my car was low on gas. He said I could put some of his gas in my car. He accidentally gave me the wrong tank to pump it out of, and I put fuel in my car that he uses for his small plane. It never ran better until the engine exploded. FML
Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML
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Top comments
Crazafon 19
Its time to put Grandma in a home...
dectivebobby 6
Hi I'm Grandma and this is Jackass
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Comments (70)
Crazafon 19
Its time to put Grandma in a home...
Comet_Candy 23
But what if she blows up the home? D:!!
Joshwarrior 39
If she does at least op wont be in it when it blows.
isallwaysme 27
For Christ sake, we need an old people category already. Get on it FML team!!
mr_sarcastic416 29
*Sheldon Cooper voice* a home?? we could never put grandma in a home!!
RinaRina 9
Oh Sheldon and his Memaw :3
Catkam623 27
*memaw in a home
AngelSpit 18
*mutters* I could set the building on fire ...
groovycrazyjoe 18
what happen To GO grandparents
fivehuskies 6
#1 I was gonna comment that but then I looked and saw you already typed it. Very funny.
That_Indian_Dude 5
Well at lest someone wouldn't kidnap her then!
isallwaysme 27
Think about it. If you were crazy, would you abduct the old lady tying to blow everybody up, or the one in the wheelchair? Let me give you a tip, old people don't tend to check who's pushing them.
ttr125 10
THEY WON'T TAKE US ALIVE!!
AngrySailor 17
"Got a case of dynamite, I could hold out here all night...."
ttr125 10
For some reason I'm seeing clips from Conkers Bad Fur Day playing in my head...should I be concerned?
dectivebobby 6
Hi I'm Grandma and this is Jackass
JFloUnknown 24
^******* lost it
Mmkay1515 21
She really recognized what the right thing to do in that situation was. Spot on, Grandma. Spot on.
lolfood 24
What would that even accomplish? She'd just kill everyone, including herself. O.o
lolfood 24
Grandma be crazy
JFloUnknown 24
How did you just respond to yourself and get upvoted both times?
Verota 6
The more the merrier.
iLike2Teabag 27
It's a shame my girlfriend doesn't agree with that.
lolfood 24
That was meant to be in the original comment.
kathryn14 19
Old people are crazy, I swear. And if I'm not crazy by the time I'm 80, I'm going to use my age as a free pass to act absolutely insane.
lilhellian 27
Who here wouldn't! We'd become a famed FML oldie!
Joshwarrior 39
in some countries such as spain its almost impossible to get in any serious trouble with the law after your 75. Thats where i plan to retire.
EVnIAS 13
Congrats if you make it that far, me my life of bad choices and stupidity would never let me get that far . Don't worry though I will post an FML the day I die so I can show you guys I was right. All of you better vote to let my story in cause it will be my last!
rebelsrock 17
Hey, not everyone can say their grandma is badass like that
Dallasluver19 14
Physcho granny.
zandalee 20
Grandma is as confused as a **** with pants on... Bless.
Catkam623 27
That has just become my new favorite analogy.
my_name_is_earl 9
Was grandma in the war?
beastiness 14
Women weren't allowed to fight in war until around the time of Vietnam and still are restricted from infantry and special forces unit so no PTSD is not the problem
ApollosMyth 22
You don't have to be in actually infantry combat to suffer from PTSD. Look at military surgeons for instance.
my_name_is_earl 9
Allllllllrighhtttt lets not get technical here