Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
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Top comments
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
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Comments (86)
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
Startin' the cat party early.
perdix 31
Aw, you're still young . . . she should have started you off with your inevitable collection of vibrators!
happylawyer 16
I like the idea. A cat for birthdays, vibrators for christmas, valentines, labor days...whatever they clebrate.
tj5810 21
Cats are really cool animals. You shouldn't be so negative. Give your new furry friend a chance. :)
FMLbutYDI 17
But cats are awesome!
iiTzNeeNerz 26
Your sisters cruel sense of humor; I like that shit.
BerylliumSphere 3
BURN!
MlleMC_fml 19
Don't despair! If that's what you want, you'll eventually find someone. I have a friend who only met a man at 35, and now she's happily married, she has a beautiful little boy and they're trying for a second child (her husband is older, and it was both their first serious relationship).
mkcherry 14
There's a difference between 35 and unmarried b/c of a career or break up but you still get out in the world and date, or 35 years and you never have relationships and could seriously end up as a cat lady. Either way if you're happy tell your sister to mind your own damn business (:
cowgirlonacid 4
Dogs are more fun.
anasha_fml 2
would it be harder for u to find a partner if you have a cat？