Sick move, bro
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a cat so I'd have some company, since my roommate is always with her boyfriend. Too bad the cat likes her more. So now I get to sit and listen to her talk to her boyfriend to get to cuddle with my kitty. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML
Today, I bought a kitten. I've wanted a cat for years and decided to finally buy one now that I have my own apartment. It turns out I'm allergic to cats. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, my boyfriend bought us three kittens. Today, I also discovered that I am allergic to cats. My boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted the cats more than me. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML
Today, I have concluded that my new girlfriend is a cat. She ignores me 99% of the day, nuzzles me when she does want attention, gets the zoomies randomly twice a day, her snoring legit sounds like she’s purring, and when she gets real mad, she scratches. FML
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Top comments
Rozeyyy 25
This FML is the kind that requires a follow up to be fully understood. Did your girlfriend break up with you because of the cat?? Did the cat kill her!? What happened??
Brad31_fml 21
Maybe it's best to just buy flowers next time.
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Comments (92)
Brad31_fml 21
Maybe it's best to just buy flowers next time.
TWayne95 13
Then he would probably just have flowers and no girlfriend
ClubGoingUp 8
There wont be a next time
vonvaski 18
And a cat, I guess.
gquagmire 17
You can probably return the cat if you no longer want it, I'm sure the people you got it from will understand.
nightingale21 7
Cats aren't exactly returnable goods. Never, ever get an animal if you can't keep it forever. And definitely do not get animals as surprise gifts.
Brain_fart 20
amen!
catherinecas 30
Most breeders have a sort of return policy on animals. That way if it doesn't fit they rehome instead of the animal being dumped at the pound.
ttubear 17
Well, only shitty people use breeders to get a cat.
foxpug 24
I agree, #67. Shitty people, or just severely misinformed. Adopt your pets. Most breeders aren't likely to euthanize their profits.
Vespertinecat 1
Please understand that not everyone can adopt due to cat allergies and thus really only have Siberian breeders to turn to as they do not produce as much of the protein that causes an allergic reaction in humans. I love cats, but I'm terribly allergic. I tried holding cats I thought to adopt. Didn't work. Itchy and sneezing. I now live happily with two Siberians allergy-free. Please do not be so quick to judge.
Nurse_Ratched 9
Really? Good breeders in Australia are responsible and will take back their animals at any time in that animal's life. Much better option than Craig's list or the local pet shop. Some people wish to get a young animal for many reasons. I personally right now own 3 rescued dogs and 4 rescued cats and all of them came with behaviours that need ongoing intervention and work. It's not for all. Doesn't make the person shitty.
cheshireau 26
Thank you for doing that and your work with them. Much respect.
OptimusSlime 23
Does she hate cats that much?
Gvnfree 5
did you keep the receipt?
Rozeyyy 25
This FML is the kind that requires a follow up to be fully understood. Did your girlfriend break up with you because of the cat?? Did the cat kill her!? What happened??
whysobeachy 37
I'm rooting for the second option. Kinda.
guii_fml 24
No it doesnt obviously he bought her a cat. They had problems and broke up. She didnt want the cat so now he has no girlfriend but has a cat
anonymous198913 26
I think you are onto something there... The cat probably killed her.
I_own_a_dog 11
My sides have reached orbit reading option B..
Bansheefaerie 9
I'm very curious too
Lalala579121 28
We're all curious as to the situation, and as they say, curiosity killed the cat. Pretty soon OP will have no cat and no girlfriend.
GokuSS400 18
Murderous cat confirmed!!!!
Someone1111 22
Well, i hope your new pet brings you some joy in the future
scalde 4
Sounds like a good trade.
tygerarmy 35
It is. My ex got us a cat, we broke up and kept the kitty. My ex may have got her, but the kitty is my baby.
tygerarmy 35
and I kept the kitty. ^^
ohSNAPyall 27
If you kept the kitty, who are you saying that your ex kept?
krazy789 28
The cat planned it out. It talked her into leaving OP so it can have him all to itself.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Probably sent a fake breakup text too.
gracehi 33
A pet is a huge responsibility. That's a lot to put on someone. If she didn't specifically tell you she wanted a cat, YDI.
Kitten_love 22
I don't understand why people continually give pets as presents to their significant other. Pets are a huge responsibility, almost like children. I would never surprise my boyfriend with a child, that just sounds crazy!! "Surprise! I stopped taking birth control and now I'm pregnant! Aren't you happy sweetie?" So why do people think it's okay to do with pets?? If she wanted a cat, she could have adopted one on her own.
jttorkildson 21
I don't know. I personally would love it if someone got me a kitten. This is the kind of gift, that if you're sure someone wants it, can be really meaningful. If it's totally out of the blue, then it could cause resentment because it is a lot of responsibility to thrust on someone, but I think there are valid reasons for surprising someone with a pet.
jttorkildson 21
*there can be valid reasons
PANDORUM89 21
I have to agree, if you are 100% certain the person wants the animal then it can be a great gift. I bought my bf a purebred German Shepherd puppy because he was looking for one his parents said they would buy it for him, but they refused to look at breeders and he wanted a purebred one. So I dropped the cash he didn't have to get him his dream dog. still has the puppy and we are still together. However, if you are just buying someone an animal because "it's cute" or they mentioned 1 time 3 years ago they they wanted a "pet" then you should be willing to take care of that pet. lol why do you think I got the puppy in my favorite color for the breed?! just in case he didn't like him, I got me a kickass dog. :) animals aren't lifeless property (unless they're stuffed) make sure when you purchase it you're willing to be this pets owner for life.
Epikosity 15
cats are better anyway. sorry bout your break up OP...