Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my anniversary. I've been a single cat-lady for exactly one year. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, it's been three years since my sister gave me a kitten. Coincidentally, it’s also been three years since I've had sex. FML
Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife gave me a card that read, "You made it to 36!" It's my 35th birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend didn't get me a present. He did, however, get me a card from our cat. He signed it "Have a purrrrfect birthday." Then he left to go to work. I was alone all day long. FML
Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Today, the last of my close friends announced she is pregnant. Meanwhile, I'm single and my nest is empty. Well, not exactly, because even my freaking cat is pregnant. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
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Top comments
HandaPitler 1
One down. 99 to go
lolfood 24
Better to have no man than a shitty one.
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Comments (86)
holagurl15 11
Ted Mosby is at least 35 and single, and will eventually meet his wife, you can do it too! :)
Xotoolyxo 16
When she's not home drop of a bunch of cats
ZombieSazza 34
Hey, I'm 22 and have 2 cats. My boyfriend of 3.5 years is 36, we live together and are happy. I biologically can't have kids, so we have cats. They're AWESOME!!! They are great company, funny as hell, help destress and kill spiders. Stroke a cat when feeling stresses, you soon calm down. :)
xgetxbentx 13
Cats are awesome. Make it famous on the Internet.
bridgetv25 8
Well heck what do u look like I'm single too LOL ;)
BigRigX 2
ydi because you started a sentence with because.
Angelastic_fml 18
Is that worse than starting a sentence with lowercase?
jixiekat 14
a cat is a great pet but if you are allergic or something try being a loner dog lady! I had a teacher that was :D
Jebitesevsi 11
I hope you thanked her properly.
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Shots fired. Sister 1, you 0