Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Today, I was playing tennis with my friend. He hit a ball up high, and I slammed it down, thinking there was no way he would get it. Feeling pretty good about it, I turned around to celebrate. As I turned around, I got smacked in my face. He got it. FML
Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML
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Top comments
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
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Comments (138)
Herbz 0
So, why weren't you wearing a cup?
VolleyballSMASH 1
My question too... Why weren't you?
Hoplaka 0
He was WATCHING the game. ******* retards. -.- FYL op! Shit happens.
nygunns1 0
his team was probelly hitting and he was up by the fence. and not many kids wear cups no more. I realized that I was the only one to wear a cup on my JV highschool baseball team, no ****! I got shit down there to protect and I use them, no way Ima risk them going out of business.
kookoo831 0
he was watching the game but why wasnt he wearing a cup? you dont have to not be watching to wear it, dumbass. OP, YDI
ifinsane 6
I wanna know y didn't you kick his ass.
_1296 10
@ 119 do you speak English?
Stryker78cRS 15
#126 he never said He didnt
SarahSehhati 40
#119 Probelly like advanced stomach? Pro belly??? wow. :)
sleepless15_p 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I am with #1. Why were you not wearing it idiot?
00yoda4 0
he wasn't in the game he was watching it
PurpleLlamas 0
106-no he means he was on the BENCH watching the game
iTrollCows 0
well you're nice..
Inspired22 11
Ouch! Glad I'm a girl and don't have to worry about that... Don't know why your teammate felt the need to do a cup check. That's just weird.
00yoda4 0
wouldn't it still hurt you just allot less?
VolleyballSMASH 1
Not really, just the same as anywhere else. Maybe a fraction more. OP- I kind of know how you feel. Me and a couple of close friends were having a waterballoon fight. We hit this guy Joe, in the balls, three times. And point blank with a squirt gun ( his fault, we were fighting over it ). After that, he was all for the hot tub, and no more waterballoons. :) poor Joe.
jayhawk9000 5
i agree. was the cup check necessary?
ty4nier 16
its a joke we all do me and my fruends do stuff like this too just before the game vy like an hour so that our balls have time to come back up and understand that thousands of our potential children have died
itssnotfunny 24
Clearly you've never been hit in the ******, you very well should worry about that. Shit hurts
Callyn 47
Your teammate is a complete ass. Hit him in the nuts next time you see him, he deserves that shit.
Jcsati8 0
If your [future] kids say they've never had a near-death experience, tell them differently!
lilleeanne 0
Hahahah !
CeSbAlLa4lYfe 0
#5 made me lol.
brittneynh 0
omg I laughed so hard after reading this lol
Hot_Sauce 0
You're playing a sport where the ball can travel faster than a speeding car, and you don't protect your jewels? You deserve that one.
hooverSP 0
Shrinking isnt a problem... maybe it's just cold. You only have to worry if they swell up
Inspired22 11
LOL #5!
r37s4090Xl7N 0
wear a ******* cup next time idiot. YDI
cadenernest 0
I'd like to think this was followed by your teammate hollerin "Found one!" at the coach followed by an inquiry along the lines of #1 and #2 from the coach and teammate as they're crouched down next to your fetally positioned body. ;) P.S Ice bath.