Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
That's sweet but next time why not a sensuous bath together or something equally as relaxing?
Saddyohh 13
Don't wear panties... Problem solved.
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Comments (101)
spikekutter 9
hollywood ***** passed out on the floor im sorry but the parties over
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
how the **** do you trip over your own panties and almost dislocate your shoulder?!?
alycion 39
Been there. Get tangled on ankles. Take a header. Land weird. I'm accident prone. I did it getting changed out of my bathing suit.
kayteakay 26
How the **** do you become such a bitch?
Meowingtons500 18
Honestly I think she may just be new around here...
buckdharma 38
# 15- Ssshh, It's Victoria's Secret!
spikekutter 9
hollywood ***** passed out on the floor im sorry but the parties over
perdix 31
Good thing you don't need your shoulder for birthday sex. It would have been a disaster if you dislocated your ****** and it hid behind your spleen.
TheDrifter 24
That would make for a horribly awkward entry angle wouldn't it?
RedPillSucks 33
Guys just take it as a challenge
mete_orito 34
Challenge accepted!
marulicko 19
Hahahahaha what!?!?!? xD
DocBastard 40
Most strippers are covered with bruises and other various lesions anyway. You'll fit right in.
AlonMower 9
It's the thought that counts.
Juneyah1017 9
All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe!
Sinistra_Blue 12
No.
NagainaFier 16
And I want a pony for Christmas, but I guess we all just have to deal with a little disappointment, huh?
saidoh_fml 26
Sorry 22, but the 2Chainz reference doesn't really work here.
hellphone_fml 37
OP I have tripped over my jeans and fallen down stairs while wearing them, its ok we all have our clumsy moments. Next time just start naked.
Ari1337 15
it isn't really a striptease if you start naked...
awkward_panda 8
I wonder if that's why my dad had no under wear o.o
RedPillSucks 33
Not something you should know, and definitely TMI for us.
djxerxes9000 18
What.The.****. 0.o
cottoncandymango 17
I'm sure he still found your attempt sexy. :)