Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband, and I tried to do a swift position-change like they do in the movies. I wound up flipping off the bed and busting my nose open on the floor. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
That's sweet but next time why not a sensuous bath together or something equally as relaxing?
Saddyohh 13
Don't wear panties... Problem solved.
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Comments (101)
PapaSmurffolks 7
"A" for effort...
TheLittleBear 19
If it helps OP, they say sharing a laugh can also bring a spark to an ailing relationship. So at least you did that.
Faiths28 12
Have a great trip, see ya next fall!
illegalbeagle69 23
No. Just no.
mr_jack_meoff 5
Next time you will buy edible panties and let him eat them off, but on second thought, if you had to strip to spice it up, he probably won't be eating any panties anytime soon unless they are beer flavored.
MakaylaReneeB 8
Ooh that sucks
LilMsDulce 17
Rawr
foisted 6
Wouldn't just a bj be better?
Esperaanza_hope 7
This will definitely be an unforgettable birthday. At least you tried OP!
miSsFlien 15
At least you tried.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lmfao. I imagined this in my head and busted up laughing. lolll!