Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
Today, after a long day, I energetically took off my belt to take my pants off and relax. In doing so, I whipped the belt around in the air, causing it to spin around and slap me right in my tender ballsack. I almost threw up. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML
Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML
Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Tomorrow, he'll be boasting to his friends that he gave you such a good time you can't even walk.
soulebelius 17
But they do it in ****...
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Comments (92)
soulebelius 17
But they do it in ****...
webbface 25
Lol, also in **** they tear easily. At least he was being tasteful haha
TheCanucklehead 22
Op should talk to the guy who provides Hulk Hogan his clothing. His clothes seem to rip way too easily
iBanana 17
Yeah erm, that would be because his arms are the size of a full grown rhino's quadricep. I can only imagine the size of...
gallaeo 21
@#37 Well with all the steroids I would imagine you'd be quite disappointed, from all the wonderful steroids properties of...shrinkage in certain departments, that is...
TheCanucklehead 22
You know what they say. Big things come in small packages...then you take steroids...so they become non-existent?
mbuck87 19
I think it's 'good' things come in small packages...
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
and my mind went straight to the gutter after the dots...
Krystal3408 32
Except his shorts. That shit never tears.
TheNewMirage 10
I think you're confused with The Hulk... Hulk Hogan is someone else
soulebelius 17
You've never seen Hulk Hogan rip his tank tops?
Nyx_fml 23
Tomorrow, he'll be boasting to his friends that he gave you such a good time you can't even walk.
Damian95 16
Well technically he did hurt her in bed.
ViRepz 28
Im still wondering if she can't walk straight because of the panties getting ripped or because of OP's name.
etoilenuit 15
Haha funniest comment ^
megstiel 16
I didn't even realize until that comment. ;-;
Phooey 22
Sounds like you had a great time! how is this an fml?
Misswildsides 22
Obviously OP didn't have a good time. He ripped off her panties with such might, she can't walk. I'm sure that's not a pleasant experience.
Redlawnchair 9
I think I would be angrier that he ripped potentially expensive panties. Dear men, Lingerie is pricey. Sincerely, Women everywhere.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Damn straight lingerie is expensive. It's the perfect gift for both parties, but it's not too hard spending 40+ bucks on a matching pair of bras and panties. It's always worth the money to see them in it though.
DarthVader77 9
Dear Women Everywhere! Man will be man and will continue to have fantasies and will do all they can to fulfill them. Lingerie is expensive, it is true. Feeling loved an desired is priceless. Stupid Men Who refuse to be tamed
webbface 25
Dear woman who buy pricey underwear, Don't tell your man to tear them off of you. Just get up and take them off seductively. He was not in the wrong for doing what he was told.
Poetaster 10
Dear women... Sex is a serious business to us men.. If you dont want it, dont ask for it!!
love_me_electric 20
From personal experience, there's no point buying expensive lingerie because men will always prefer you naked.
doumtabarnack 12
Dear women, there is no better way to feel manly than ripping panties off your bodies. Sincerely, men everywhere.
metalhead4740 14
The best lingerie is no lingerie...
1known_fml 8
Alas most men have no taste...
fireysaje 10
Well judging from what OP said, they never actually tore
ODST_Panda 12
Best Lingerie is thigh high socks.
kthsdm 12
Give him a scissors next time
Dracoboxer357 36
5- Or communicate her desires a little clearer next time. :p
BlueFlatts 20
Husband: Wedgie!! Oh wait, that's not what you wanted. Sorry babe.
vanessa09865 23
Which way did he rip? Because if he ripped upwards, then he obviously has no idea what he's doing. You 'rip' downwards to get the panties off faster
valalvax 13
From experience, if you pull too fast downward they can get caught in the lips and that hurts
fireysaje 10
Jesus Christ how big are these lips you speak of??
Cheeley 17
Should have told him to gently remove your undergarments so you could begin sexual intercourse. No confusion to be had there.
DubstepMasta 18
Yes but saying that isnt exactly a turn on is it?
Juneyah1017 9
Attah Boy!
whyisitme12 19
Sure blame it on the panties that making you not walk straghit.
Nurd4lyfe 7
Had to learn that lesson the hard way :/