Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, in an attempt to spice up our relationship, I tied my boyfriend up and did a striptease for him. I pulled my skirt down over my heels but tripped as I tried to step out of it. Not only did I pull a muscle in my leg but I elbowed him in the groin. So much for spice. FML
Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Sometimes a funny memory is better than sex.
conrad01 6
Ahh... Laughter truly is the best birth control!
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Comments (98)
Rei_Ayanami 18
Sometimes a funny memory is better than sex.
DoubleCross 9
Cockblock T-Shirt
YoTengoTomatoes 7
Aren't you supposed to practice before a striptease..? Obviously it would have helped in op's situation.
CaptTeemo 10
23 - she probably did practice. But the shirt decided it won't happen that night
joepatbob 0
A girl that can laugh at herself is even sexier.
iloveturtlez 4
Something to look back on and laugh about :)
aaahhhfire21 0
He couldn't have given u a hand when he saw it wasn't comin off?
aaahhhfire21 0
Some ppl saying laughter is better then sex.... Well how bout laughter then sex... U can have ur cake and eat her too
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Thats still kind of a turn off
wlddog 14
That sounds like a great strip tease to me. You can always get a strip tease but you can't always make a hilarious moment.
BeachBoi_Alex 7
@1 Agreed. One time I got a massive leg cramp during sex and according to my ex I did the funniest movements shes ever seen and it cracked her up whenever she thought of it. Good times.
ucoolgirl31 20
Well better luck next time... Or just wear a different shirt...
ColdplaySucks 18
You'd assume that if a shirt can be put on normally, it can be vice versa...
ucoolgirl31 20
She never said it could be put on easily.
nowthenagain10 8
48- youre always too defensive
ucoolgirl31 20
Really?? I am sorry!! I don't mean to come off that way....
onlychildFTW 34
I wonder if OP means by awkward fit her boobs were to big for the shirt.
FMLshark 12
66, I'm sure that's what you're hoping for.
corleon198425 22
Its the little things in life that make precious moments
boofgall 16
Plus, op, you got to make your boyfriend laugh a lot! He probably loves you for it!
conrad01 6
Ahh... Laughter truly is the best birth control!
ICastillo 25
Ya it is, but that would be funny Op .
shneakycactus 2
that or crocs
Il_Maestro 6
4- I hear that! Last night when I got naked my girlfriend just looked down and started laughing. Bitch didn't get laid that night.
hwkfan1 10
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Laughgasms are just as orgasms. But it's easier to get someone to laugh.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Just as good*
anythingmustbe 18
Dont know why he is laughing no sex for him
xactownife 7
He's laughing because that's hilarious and some people care about more than just sex.
KeyboardWarrior 10
I knew somebody would post a comment like this. He laughed because it was funny. When something is funny people laugh. Get over It.
GSXRryders 2
That's awesome LMAO!!!
Abbeygale 8
I think it's sweet :L even in an odd situation like this the fact that you can have a laugh together is cute ;)
Hiimhaileypotter 53
That's what I was thinking! This will be something they can look back on and laugh at in the coming years of their relationship. :)
Il_Maestro 6
I think part of the FML here is that there was a lack of coming.
Iceman225 11
Oooh,, clever.
lissalove17 8
An awkward fit, or just too small? Next time, wear clothes that actually fit you.
missalkali 8
some clothes are the right size and fit just fine but it has seams in awkward places and stuff. so stop jumping to conclusions
petraphotoDOTca 6
calm down & don't get your panties in a knot.....OP, this is actually a cute story/memory
your_face 15
Better yet, wear a size larger. Then you're less likely to have this problem.
emeraldisle 30
Don't be mad. Laugh as yourself too. If that happened to me I would be.