Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
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Top comments
rnarshmallow 21
At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.
thecouchisalive 20
That's a very wet dream
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Comments (66)
thefmlman2011 37
I'd hate to imagine what the dog did back to you.
lexiieeex3 32
You would pee on your girlfriend on command with no questions asked? Dude that's dedication...
keiNan_fml 35
**** your dog's life.
brownapple 22
Now don't be surprised when the dog pees on you.
aj9319 16
That's why the dog ran away. You looked for him for 5 hours, and when you came back home, he was waiting for you at the door.
tormcn 26
Sounds like something Jew Hair might do!
ivan_sheep 4
At lease you showed dominance
tranced_ 45
sleepwalking is deadly. .you should be careful next time. .
Reider022 16
Ya **** your dogs life, hopefully you don't start having 50 shades of grey kind of dreams.
gintwinsmoore 20
wonder what the dog thinks about that...hmmmm
namibian 13
That sucks...