Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I couldn't sleep. I had to pee really badly but I'm terrified of the dark, so I closed my eyes all the way to the bathroom. On the way, I tripped over my dog and fell face-first into the door frame. He then humped me as my nose bled all over the floor. FML
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
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Top comments
rnarshmallow 21
At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.
thecouchisalive 20
That's a very wet dream
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Comments (66)
rnarshmallow 21
At least your girlfriend knows you are willing to pee on her when she asks.
Amama_fml 30
At least it wasn't his girlfriend he peed on.
pyrexicpoet 18
Plot twist: his dog is his girlfriend
thecouchisalive 20
That's a very wet dream
pyrexicpoet 18
What's that wet dog smell?
WhoopteDo 26
Are you fureal man?! I'd be pissed if you did that to me. And I know girls like getting wet but I think you really need to get your mind out of the sewers.. FY Dog's life. At least you didn't dream she wanted your to shit on her...
VeganDarkLight 31
It's a fetish called Urophilia. It's alright if you don't want to be pissed on (it wouldn't be called a fetish if a lot of people practised it), but there's no need to push your views on others. As long as both (or more) partners participating like it, it doesn't harm anyone so just let them have fun!
tormcn 26
I don't think the dog had fun.
wchil 14
yea deff not the dogs fetish
ohjoy15 33
That poor dog oh my God. Couldn't have done anything to deserve that.
riffehunter 16
no wonder it ran away
SweetasCandy0609 28
it's sounds like Ambien that stuff naked you do pretty loopy stuff you should be careful until your body adjusts don't fight your sleep it makes it worse.
may14th 26
punctuation pls
littlekellilee 45
Not always Ambien. Zopiclone makes me sleep walk, sleep text, sleep phone people, and most recently sleep work.
lovelockdown23 23
Lol that makes me wonder how bad your next dream will be
TheGolfGTI 24
Sounds like urine a very bad predicament.
creatureman 14
You know what? I have to give hat one to you. *slow clap*
Jasper1405 16
I'd say the good thing here is that you didn't target your girlfriend, that would have resulted in your permanent banishment to the couch. I feel for you and your dog though, hope you're doing well.
iislix1ii 19
Arf?
freya1998 23
I think you should admit that it's actually quite funny ;) maybe find a solution to the sleepwalking though..