Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to, and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said, "We're not ready for our table yet." Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend, who I've met several times. FML
Today, and up until now, I never knew my dad had a racist streak until he found out his usual fish and chip shop had been turned into an Indian takeaway. The language he was using, I had to google what half of the names even meant, since I wasn't born in the '70s. The neighbours definitely heard him, because now they won't talk to us. FML
Today, I tried to impress my crush by ordering food in his "native tongue." He looked at me weirdly and said, "I'm from Ohio.” FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I'm an Indian man at college and I'm nicknamed "Uber Eats" by half the campus. Every time I walk around, I hear, "Look, it's Uber Eats." I shout at them and demand that they stop but they just laugh at me. FML
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Top comments
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
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Comments (105)
jetsown08 21
I always wondered how people knew whether or not to talk a foreign language to a person who seems to be the same ethnicity as you...
tj4234 36
As someone who's bilingual myself, I can tell you that usually you use a widely spoken language at the start. For example in Europe a lot of people start off speaking in English and work from there. Hindi is really just the same for India. Most of the states have their own languages, with Hindi being a second language that the majority speak. OP probably speaks 3 languages at least (assuming they speak a state language too), but used Hindi as it is the most widespread.
Dawnstempest 17
@11 Or you just ask "do you speak this language?" And go from there.
soccerstar1996 18
As an Indian American, what we generally do is start off in English and if we find out they're from the same state, then we speak in the state language. But this is only generally for people who are close. It is considered awkward to just randomly speak in Hindi unless its obvious that a) you know the person or b) that there is no doubt whatsoever the he speaks your language
Danielle7994 18
Yea 38, that's true. I'm Nigerian (born there but raised in America) and my parents are Nigerian (born and raised in Nigeria). We do have a pretty large Nigerian community here in my town so we do meet other Nigerians. Anyway, usually whenever I'm with my parents ( and they meet someone who looks Nigerian) they usually speak English. You know, just be on the safe side. But one time, when my dad was driving, we were stopped at a red light and my dad happened to notice a woman another car that looked exactly like this other one Nigerian woman. I was like "Dad? That's not her..." But my dad rolled down the window anyway and said, "Aga Madame! Eh kedu!" and waved. The lady rolled down her window slowly and gave us this EXTREMELY confused look lol. She was like "...Uh..I'm sorry?"And then he not noticing said it again lol but then was like "Oh! I'm sorry!" and then rolled up the window and looked ahead, laughing to himself. Lol I noticed she was still looking at us and shaking her head. She kept looking back at us for the duration of the time we were stuck at that damn light! As soon as it turned green my dad like pressed the gas and we hurled out lol. It was SO AWKWARD.
tj4234 36
yes #22, but you would still have to pick a language to do that in. Which is likely to be a widely used language (like English).
tj4234 36
EDIT: posted twice. Mod please delete this one
Himlagott 14
Lol, that's hilarious! Dads... :)
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Assuming, gets you everytime.
aaronh212 6
If you assume, it usually makes an ASS of U and ME.
Pleonasm 36
I guess he's Naan-Native of your Mother Land.
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
Pleonasm, king of puns.
sirpantselot 22
In his defence, I'd say the odds had been more or lassi-n his favour.
Pleonasm 36
Well when you assume people are Native Indian like that at an Indian restaurant, you get what you deserve: Instant Korma.
man_in_black08 28
You, sir are awesome :)
TheNewGuy03 29
You can probably say that the owner was tikka'd off.
adam3650 12
You could say that your language skills didn't curry his favour.
AshaaFerreira 22
#34 tell him something he doesn't know
friedchickenpie 14
You shouldn't have assumed that he could Chaat with you in Hindi.
PiNkMoOn 9
LOL
Freethaawave 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Guess that restaurant is not so authentic Indian.
elephantsarecute 16
It's possible that the restaurant owner might speak Tamil, Bengali, Malayalam, or any of the other 21 languages of India besides Hindi. Plus you can have authentic Indian food without speaking an Indian language.
Freethaawave 19
If he spoke one of those languages, I doubt he would have not recognized the fact that OP was speaking Hindu and told him to speak English.... He was way more likely to be American.
jordanlite 16
Hindu is a religion, not a language.
lil_ham1644 29
Hindi= language Hindu= religion
eash 10
Not every person speaks Hindi. YDI for going up to a random person and speaking to them in Hindi.
Freethaawave 19
It wasn't a random person, it was the supposed owner of an Indian restaurant.
truth_teller23 11
Obviously not everyone speaks Hindi.
kentuckyguy 4
That's like going up to some kid in Chinatown and speaking Chinese to them.Hell,that's like going to a German beer garden in Cincinnati and ordering a beer in German...
bamagrl410 31
Or going anywhere in Texas and speaking English...
sugarshane007 20
Imagine OP's surprise when the person spoke Hindi to the employees after the order was placed. The troll has worked successfully.
shine004 8
Lol
fsomelife 26
Somehow I read that in a New York mafia accent and thought of that scene from Home Alone: "Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal. And a Happy New Yea'."
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I read it in a Glasgow accent for some reason.
monnanon 14
lol i did too. i had to check the location afterwards. are you british too?
TheDrifter 24
Looking Indian, even being of Indian descent doesn't mean he's ever been to India. Welcome to America.
shine004 8
Which indian restaurant did ya go? Btw I speak Hindi. :P