Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, I woke up to find I'd peed the bed. My girlfriend did the warm water trick to me, where she put my hand in water while sleeping, which can make you piss yourself apparently. As I went to get up, I noticed she'd also painted my toenails pink. FML
Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Today, I took new sleeping meds. One of the side effects was sleepwalking. I had a dream my girlfriend wanted me to pee on her. Apparently, while sleepwalking, I pissed all over our dog. FML
Today, I woke up next to my wife at my in-laws. It was all set to be a beautiful morning when we got serves breakfast in bed, until my mother in-law started pointing at the big shit stain running from my ass and on to the sheets. Never trust a fart, especially when you're sleeping. FML
Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
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Top comments
GamerChickxoxo 16
drool does turn yellow tho, thus why old pillows have nasty yellow stains, cum also leaves yellow stains on white materials.
ajh1800 25
I feel like you would have noticed a smell if it was close enough to your face that you thought it was drool. Not only that, but if the dog was on the bed, wouldn't you have felt him walking over you or near you to get that close to your head?
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Comments (4)
bloopaloop 27
Divorce her and take half the dog.
GamerChickxoxo 16
i almost spit out my drink
GamerChickxoxo 16
drool does turn yellow tho, thus why old pillows have nasty yellow stains, cum also leaves yellow stains on white materials.
ajh1800 25
I feel like you would have noticed a smell if it was close enough to your face that you thought it was drool. Not only that, but if the dog was on the bed, wouldn't you have felt him walking over you or near you to get that close to your head?