Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
desoto96 9
Nope he's not. Just like your rack.
insertnameherr 11
HE'S NOT REAL???
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Comments (145)
Lioness8197 18
How does OP deserve this? He can't help what other little ***** say.
hama806 19
I'm sorry your child found out too soon about Santa but calling a child a **** was uncalled for. How would you like it if an adult referred to your child as a ****? That's just not a nice thing for a mother to say about another's child.
Lioness8197 18
OP is a father not a mother. It clearly states it.
RebelYell14 4
Absolutely right. No matter how rude the kid was, there are far better and more descriptive words than to call them a "****." YDI op.
kevsandy303 12
Yeah, such as 'fuckhobbit'
RebelYell14 4
And no, it doesn't clearly state the OP is a father.
kevsandy303 12
36- No, but the symbol says that OP is male so it's safe to assume he's a father
winkydog4056 16
#36_I should've known OP was a father, not a mother. Men use the 'c' word more than women IMO. It shocks me FML put this post through. perhaps, it's only me that finds the 'c' word EXTREMELY offensive!!!!!
hama806 19
29-OP is a parent. Doesn't matter which in this FML. 35- **** hobbit works
Lioness8197 18
34- just because he used a rude word doesn't mean he deserves this.
winkydog4056 16
#55_I wasn't implying that. OP didn't deserve it. I just find the word EXTREMELY offensive & am stunned FML put this post through. I don't think I'm the only one offended by it....
brand2017 9
Who gives a shit what he called the kid in an internet post? There are no ties to the actual child. Also, im liking this "fuckhobbit" thing. Especially since i just saw the LOTR again tonight lol
zolziski 11
"****" is a perfectly acceptable descriptive noun in this case, as it is for all cases of people, young and old, being just plain awful. It has to be, by far, my favourite profanity. So much "punch" is such a little word. Brings a smile to my face.
cuponoodles34 10
that's so ****** up
FYLminesGREAT 5
And a happy new year...
dan_in_wi 12
why the hell so many YDI? its not his fault some little Bastard ruined the rest of his daughters innocent childhood!
StayatHomeSon 9
You shoulda whoop that kid's ass and its parents. What a disrespectful child!
SquishFish 15
The easiest way to deal with this is to simply explain that there are many elves who work for Santa, so they can deliver all his messages, because Santa is so busy getting ready for Christmas
twinkiefeets 17
Damn kids! Kill him and eat his limbs.
Callmesam 10
My mother told me that the mall Santa's were really "Good Elfs in disguise, reporting directly back to Santa!" and that all kids who said Santa didn't exist and that their parents bought the gifts were "Naughty kids who can't get gifts from Santa so their parents have to buy them." Yeah...that led to a playground fight or two.
SMcGinty18 2
You're a grown man..don't call a child a ****.