Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
Today, I was in the mall for the second day in a row with my 7-year-old brother. As we walked past Santa he asked me, "Why does Santa look different today"? Not thinking, I said, "Because each mall has a different Santa." FML
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I was on the phone with my friend, when my four year old nephew came in, asking who I was talking to. I told him it was Santa Claus, so he insisted on talking to him. I handed over the phone and I hear, "Santa is fake. Grow up." I spent the next two hours with a screaming child proving Santa exists. FML
Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML
Today, my 16 year-old son had a tantrum over me asking him to clean up his room, and decided to tell my 6 year-old daughter that Santa isn't real, and that it was me who bought her presents. My daughter is inconsolable. FML
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Top comments
desoto96 9
Nope he's not. Just like your rack.
insertnameherr 11
HE'S NOT REAL???
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Comments (145)
emeraldisle 30
What a little brat! It's times like these that make me wish you could slap other people's kids.
bjobabygirl 12
Yea you got that right
ErinPinelli 24
Oh, you should.
Picklejar399 2
No Santa! Blasphemy!
HeyHeyFishFillet 34
You said it OP. That kid is a ****.
CatsForLife 3
Really? I was thinking more of a twat. Probably just because its fun to say though ...
howdeedoo 22
Well, your kid will get over it soon enough. Try your best to convince her otherwise
pl18 10
Tell her that she' d better not pout, she'd better not cry and tell her why...
ChaoticBacon 6
* Michael Jackson's voice * Santa Claus is coming to town!!!
mommab6 1
My husband and I have brought the possibility of this happening. To avoid it, we are telling our kids that Santa is very busy this year, so he hires people to dress up as him, and they collect all the kids' wishes and report them back to the real Santa. It's like Customer Service for Christmas Wish Lists haha
pink_raindrops 26
You could always take this opportunity to tell her how Santa came to be and why we have this tradition. It's not like there are too many years left before she really finds out Santa isn't real, it's kinda a shame that it happened this way, but it's not the end of the world.
TheLadyOpal 30
You still could save this, because technically the **** kid's right and that Santa wasn't the real one. It was one of Santa's elves. Every store has one, and they listen to what all the kids want for Christmas so they can go back and tell their fellow elves what to make while the REAL Santa prepares all the reindeer for the long flight around the world, making sure Rudolph's nose is bright enough and that they're not sick and they've got enough food and such. Still, it's an FYL because you'd have gotten in trouble for beating the crap out of the **** kid for calling her that.
winkydog4056 16
Sounds like he was raised by my former monster-in-law, the ice queen born again Christian that scolded me for lying to me children about Jesus and Santa being real.
winkydog4056 16
*my
datoismyname 22
It's called edit, Sir WinkyDog