Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML
Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML
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Top comments
dowhatiwant 0
haha that guy is awsome
AlexZB 0
he was just doing his job, how would he know better?
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Comments (176)
kira822_fml 0
Lamo! This is a fav! I would have moved a little closer and bent my knees to freak him out. This is so funny. Really FYL Oh and I can see why someone would ride their bike. See, they might want to leave their car behind an enjoy one last bike ride. You know, pass all the houses of the people they knew and silently say one last goodbye. Just a guess. I'm not suisidal.
americayay 0
I doubt if too many suicidal people think the scenery is WORTH enjoying.
Volcomliberation 1
LOL
dothehelenkeller 0
YDI for owning a bike.
sayhello_fml 0
What the ****?
JNY007 0
hahaha
Bashar_fml 0
#26 You are the only person who posted something on this website which actually made laugh in real life.
lmfao25 0
What have you been on this site about 40 seconds or something?! Because if you've been on it for any time at all, you would have laughed at something other than 26's completely illogical comment. Either that, or you pretty much have no soul or emotion.
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
I sooo agree. ******* bike owner. Get a car and drive up there.
americayay 0
I also thought this comment was very funny.
jahwn 12
What if, even in death, they want to be kind to earth
DrinkBainne 0
Why is this a FML...? Do you look like a person on the verge of suicide or something? If so, YDI.
pwnrzero 0
haha you made my day until some idiot messes it up :P
XxXRawr 0
Omg Thats just F*cked Upp xD
kellster 2
How is this even remotely an FML??? You weren't suicidal and he, in his line of duty, was taking the better-safe-than-sorry route. The FML would have been if you HAD been trying to commit suicide and were foiled by a cop. Or if you'd been the cop and the woman had jumped. This is not an FML. This is a very easily ignored misunderstanding. Get some perspective!
darkmis1 18
Lolz! It's hilarious how hesaid that he knows your life is crap. But seriously-that cop is a dumba*s
kyle4321 0
What if you WERE thinking of committing suicide though? I mean he could have said it differently, but it's better that he tried to help than to just be ignorant.
kirby1026 0
Lmao!! I would've been like fake crying "even you know my life is crap!!" have like a mental breakdown.
milgalo 0
Hahahaahah, then step a little closer.