Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML
Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML
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Top comments
dowhatiwant 0
haha that guy is awsome
AlexZB 0
he was just doing his job, how would he know better?
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Comments (176)
americayay 0
Okay. So FML stands for **** my life. It means that something really bad, upsetting, even embarrassing or painful has happened and made you say, "**** my life". I'm explaining this because the OP and moderators clearly don't get it. A cop mistaking you standing on a bridge for the view as someone whose life IS ******, in no way AT ALL negatively affects your life. If anything, it makes you laugh and think, 'Oh no, that was so far from my mind that I didn't even think that's what this looked like. Life is good.' This is in no way and FML, but an amusing anecdote you tell at parties.
americayay 0
He assumed she was going to kill herself, in which case, of course she would think her life was crap. This is the dumbest FML ever.
4440123 0
this is fake a cop wouldn't say that
Amkii 0
I thought that exactly, too. What policeman would say, "Ma'am" and "crap" in the same sentence in that context? Weird.
springbirder 0
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iluvu21396 0
that is HILARIOUS! i fell off my chair laughing.
fleabag 0
oh mummai
allytally 0
he wouldn't think that you were gonna jump.................................FAKE ASS STORY!
0 3
Unfunny joke; didn't happen. Double fail.
DaveBP 3
How is this an FML at all? you were standing all alone, in the middle of a bridge? sure it may be picturesque, but he did the right thing. sure the way he said it is funny, but he reasoned with who he thought was depressed, rather than seeing someone right in front of someone kill themselves. that would be an FML, i didnt know if someone wasnt depressed- and then they jumped off a bridge right in front of me :(. but still, i do love this. his responses was perfect.
MrGlad 0
..and then did he accidently shoot you in the face? If he didn't, it's not really a FML