Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML
Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML
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Top comments
dowhatiwant 0
haha that guy is awsome
AlexZB 0
he was just doing his job, how would he know better?
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Comments (176)
moriah 0
Not an fml. That isn't even a mild inconvenience to stumble upon through the course of the day.
artcgirl 0
through the course of the day? do you get told not to commit suicide often in your regular days?
car6435 0
what the hell was he thinking. he was going to fast
ShenziSixaxis 0
Well, at least the cop didn't just stand there in case someone else DID jump off.
irrelevantxx 0
Pfhahhahahahaaa I'd say 'I bet it's better than yours you SOB'
lmfao25 0
Your life is not ******. This is not even an FML. How did this get on here? You could've just said "I'm not jumping, don't worry :)." and went on with your day. He was just doing his job.
therealmike 0
Agreed. Cop says "don't jump", you laugh and tell him he's mistaken, life goes on. It might make for a funny anecdote but your life isn't F'ed.
mylittlecrow 0
ydi for waking up this morning:p
rc024 0
#10 go back to where ever u came from come back only if you have learned how to speak english....rofl haha anyways that sucks fyl and **** that cop...unless u look unkept and really do look like crap on a shitty bike lol
1aidan1 0
Dam how bad do u look
Tashaxox 0
Please explain why your life is ****** I dont seem to understand your inconvenience
thisislove_fml 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. not an FML! but pretty damn amuseing.