Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, I was was leaving the library when I noticed an elderly woman being mugged. I was about to leave on my bike, but promptly went to help her. After I managed to scare off the mugger, I helped her to her car. As I was heading back to my bike, I notice the mugger riding off on it. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
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Top comments
man_in_black08 28
Plot twist: The pothole was planted by the old woman. Genius masterplan!
3molliver3 16
*crime music* When the elderly strike back
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Comments (46)
Jasim 17
Never trust an old woman!
Noah197099 17
I think you're being a bit drastic.
Jasim 17
More like sarcastic.
phoneaddict13 29
but all she did was help herself too I mean come on, you cant be selfish if she helps you, this isn't a one way street
Ikashy73 14
Very clever wordplay.
incoherentrmblr 22
This reminds me of that skittles commercial where she's walking her cloud. Perfect setup...
3molliver3 16
*crime music* When the elderly strike back
1dvs_bstd 41
who said old people are nice? some of them are just nasty old bitches.
CaliCassanova 14
That's kinda miserable... I know it sucks for you OP... BUT the fact that an old lady had to resort to pick pocketing you is just sad... I think it's more her FML :/
Noah197099 17
"Today, this guy flew off his bike. While I helped him up, I stole his wallet and left. FML."
NotBlargo 18
Next time you help her across the street, steal it back.
Devindelon 17
Should've chased her down. How far could she have gotten?
HarleyBlues 24
Could have been worse, how would you feel if she beat the shit out of you then stole your wallet?
MrSassypants 34
What kind of ****** up old ladies have you ran into? Did you run into a biker gang of old ladies?
HarleyBlues 24
I haven't personally, but I'm sure it's happened. I was really just trying to give OP a confidence boost.
countryb_cth 38
@11 I don't usually laugh at comments but yours I got a good laugh out of, all I picture is a biker gang of just old ladies with baseball bats and tattoos.
MrSassypants 34
And then they can have their grandchildren in a biker gang. Grandsons of Anarchy.
man_in_black08 28
Plot twist: The pothole was planted by the old woman. Genius masterplan!
bryce0110 23
I instantly though animal crossing when you said "planted a pothole."
Exodiafinder687 58
If FML has taught me one thing it's that all elderly people are thieves.
Person58 17
You've gotta watch out for those old ladies. They're evil.
pooldude 24
what the hell is going on??? old woman steals a bikers wallet while he is hurt. wow! that's a new low
kirigaiku 15
It's the Philippines lol, you always have to watch out for your things.. It's already dangerous if your in a market and you pull out a iPhone.