Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, a police officer pulled me over while I was riding my high performance motorbike. He asked if I knew why he'd pulled me over. It was too tempting to resist at the time, but in hindsight telling him ,“Because I let you?” was not the best idea I’ve ever had. Cops have no sense of humour. FML
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
Today, I was riding on my bike when I saw a homeless guy holding a sign saying, "Need money, stranded from Oklahoma." I decided to be nice, and hopped off my bike to give him $2. He took the money, and then jacked my bike. FML
Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML
Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a hill and noticed a pretty girl sitting at the bus stop. I guess I was staring pretty hard, because the next thing I knew, I was swerving off the road and smashing into a tree. She laughed at me. FML
Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML
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Top comments
dowhatiwant 0
haha that guy is awsome
AlexZB 0
he was just doing his job, how would he know better?
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Comments (176)
JDP09 0
uhhhh.... not really a FML moment in my opinion
jmeg_fml 0
Haha, well, I guess that's a little sad, but it's really a pretty good situation for both of them. He's doing his best to prevent suicides, and she's not depressed. And what the cop said was fine! He was empathetic, polite, and brief. It really doesn't take much to prevent the majority of suicide attempts, anyway.
humorizer 14
You people obviously don't know it's a common language called "ebonics". The cool kids at most failing schools speak it. These are the same kids that fill the pockets of rich rappers.
Vertoule 7
Hmm... I don't know of a single crisis intervention class that teaches you to tell a suicidal person that their "life is crap". And I'm pretty sure that cops still have to take crisis intervention as part of their training. I'm also fairly sure that cops don't randomly walk up to people on the bridge and blurt out "HAI DON'T JUMP LOL!" as the most common tactic is to just engage them in casual conversation first. So that means one of three possible things. 1) The cop was poorly trained and clearly an idiot, so fyl for finding out your police force has at least one mentally challenged officer. 2) You left out some details (you were hanging precariously off the edge). 3) This didn't happen... *cough*mostlikely*coughcough* sorry swine flu.
harlehatschi 0
i don't see why this is an fml
MRS_JACOB_BLACK 0
it is fml because she must of looked sad and depressed enough to jump off the bridge which is not how you want to look
AdamGD 0
STOP HAVING ******* POLITICAL DEBATES ON FML!!!!!! GO DO THOSE ON A CHAT ROOM OR SOMETHING!!!!!
Shyman4ever 0
Were you actually that high with your bike? Why is there cops on large hills and mountains?
Stevieebabyy 0
YDI for looking like a low life.
lollipop217 0
This isn't an fml. He was just doing his job
englandrulz 0
LOL that's kinda funny but kinda sad.