Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I moved out a few years ago, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML
Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML
Today, I told my parents I was pregnant. They yelled at me until I started crying. I'm 31, married, and I have a good paying job. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, I sat my mom down to tell her I was pregnant, but before I could say anything, she started to lecture me on safe sex. I don't see this ending well. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML
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Top comments
_elly_beth_ 0
I'd keep the grandchild away from her. She sounds like the mother from Carrie.
chris_the_G 0
tell her not to either
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Comments (85)
littlegolferboy 4
This isn't an FML, it's just funny. The FML would be if your mom had tried to cockblock you all those years.
Igor_g5 0
Your mother sounds looney. how did it happen that you exist?
hi_from_HI 0
Well here's the trick: did she KNOW you're married??? I know many people who get married and keep it a secret from their parents who had disapproved of the marriage/person. Congrats though!
doggie3 0
What's wrong with her? You've been MARRED for years for gods sake. Maybe she just doesn't like the idea of her baby having sex. But... Congratulations!!!!! That's great!!!
skaterpunk8678 0
Haha it's probably just habits.
DbeX 0
Shes probably pissed because your sex is better
werzal 5
Wow. You must have been immaculate conception... You havent started performing miracles have you?
mohit88 0
Makes u wonder whether u were adopted or a test tube baby amirite?
Jim9349 10
Cut off her balls.. well her... .. umm boobs? ya gore her boobs...
themaintroll 0
YDI for working at six flags. YDI for not celebrating thanksgiving with a turkey dinner. YDI for trying to catch jellyfish with your hand. YDI for not clipping your nails before a date.
sunnyray812 42
What????