Today, my mom shrieked in horror and burst into hysterical tears when I casually mentioned I was having sex. I've been married for three years. My wife and I have sex. Deal with it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my mother that I'm pregnant. She went off screaming at me about how I shouldn't be having sex. I am 25 and have been happily married for 3 years. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML
Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML
Today, I had to listen to my mom give a detailed description of her date last night to her friends via speakerphone... while I was trapped in the car with her. When I pointed out that I was still in the back seat, she scoffed and told me, "I have a sex life, deal with it." FML
Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML
Today, I had to watch as my deeply religious mother broke out in tears of joy, as she said how happy she was that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fiancé and I fucked on the first date. FML
Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
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Top comments
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Why would you casually mention that you’re having sex to your mother? Telling her you’re trying for a baby is an intentional mention.
tiptoppc 21
Maybe because the mother is freaking toxic and said something that OP mentioned this in return to said comment by mother. Reactions like this by toxic people are likely fished for or brought out because of something absurd a toxic person spews and then reacts when a comment in response is said, meaning they try to generate trauma and then go off the deep end because either they: 1. Expected this to pull this shit 2. Can’t handle a candid and non-ideal response to what they said. OP, you need to seriously go no contact with your mother. She sounds like a karen and a total nightmare. This crap is why i am now estranged from my family.
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Comments (2)
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Why would you casually mention that you’re having sex to your mother? Telling her you’re trying for a baby is an intentional mention.
tiptoppc 21
Maybe because the mother is freaking toxic and said something that OP mentioned this in return to said comment by mother. Reactions like this by toxic people are likely fished for or brought out because of something absurd a toxic person spews and then reacts when a comment in response is said, meaning they try to generate trauma and then go off the deep end because either they: 1. Expected this to pull this shit 2. Can’t handle a candid and non-ideal response to what they said. OP, you need to seriously go no contact with your mother. She sounds like a karen and a total nightmare. This crap is why i am now estranged from my family.
FluffythePink 23
Sounds like your mum wants an (at least emotionally) incestuous relationship with you. Let that sink in for a bit and then go find therapy because being brought up by someone like that screws you up in ways you don't realise until a professional points them out. Your wife will seriously, genuinely appreciate the work you put into fixing what she ****** up for you.