Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mother-in-law screamed at the top of her lungs in front of our friends and family that I was stealing her baby away from her. I'd only suggested we go home because he had a migraine. Her baby is 24 years-old and has been married to me for a year. FML
Today, 98 year-old mom with dementia thought she was talking to one of my dead sisters and not my wife, telling her she'd better never tell me who my real father really, that I ruined her marriage. She won't have me ruining her reputation, so her getting pregnant with me from an affair was my fault apparently. None of my siblings ever told me. FML
Today, I got a call from a man yelling and cursing at me, calling me a "selfish no-life asshole" for getting his "baby girl" pregnant. I'm 29 and she is 27 and we have been married for 3 years. FML
Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML
Today, nine years on, my dad still hates my husband for "ruining" my life by getting me pregnant in my late twenties. FML
Today, I told my mom I was 3 months pregnant, expecting her to be happy. Instead, she screamed that I was no longer her daughter and she never wanted to see me again before throwing me out of her house, because I got pregnant out of wedlock. Nice math mom. I've been married for 5 months. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she's pregnant and I did not take it well. She had planned to record my happy reaction for Facebook; instead she got video of me bursting into tears, and trying to talk her into an emergency abortion. She sent it to my parents to punish me. FML
Today, my girlfriend's 8-year-old daughter decided that I'm going to marry her mom and send her to an orphanage. I blurted out, "Marriage?! No one's talking about marriage!" Now my girlfriend is mad at me, and her daughter is still scared of me. FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML
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Top comments
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Congrats OP! Shame your mother can't be happy for you though, she should be excited to be a grandma!
hotshot0185 15
A bit of a nutter. FYL
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Comments (82)
hotshot0185 15
A bit of a nutter. FYL
NeatNit 33
455 FYLs and 0 YDIs, as of right now. Wow.
feelingold 18
she sounds like the mother-in-law of every woman's dreams. I feel more sorry for your wife than for you... You should stick up for your lady - threaten to cut contact with your mother until she gives your wife proper respect as a member of the family.
chabelo 10
maybe OPs mother waited more than 15 years to have kids after getting married.. lol
HKCgrimmjow 15
Well the families reputation isn't going to last long if reproducing is that frowned upon!
tj5810 21
#29, please tell me there's more like you!
nurchok 15
I am...
xx000o 27
Sounds like she was in an altered state of conscientious.
dweeds508 24
#21 Who cares?
apaloosa_fml_fml 21
Congrats OP! Shame your mother can't be happy for you though, she should be excited to be a grandma!
inkdeath87 18
Your mother is an asshole. But congrats on you new son or daughter!
fareith 15
True - she's probably worried about her reputation, because she is a Grandma now. Woman get crazy when they get older.
zzriel 12
At least your coworkers know your married
Pwn17 25
They were married 8 years. I'm sure he mentioned her at some point.
zzriel 12
Exactly my point...
Pwn17 25
Oh, your comment made it sound like his mom yelling was what made them know. Sorry.
sulitak 27
I didn't think it did at all. I took it as yup, the coworkers will know the mom is bat shit crazy
Pwn17 25
Sorry, I probably shouldn't be commenting this late. :p
Rawr6591 21
But they could interpret it has the op cheated on his (assuming it's a guy) wife and got some random girl pregnant
mollyjynxjax 28
It's a guy. Girls can't get girls pregnant. Use your brain.
spaboolly 26
Why is it that some parents just can't ever accept that their children grow up?
outcast13 5
Agreed
Ambiguous404 6
Couldn't you have just thumbed her up?
littlem91 29
Couldn't you have just thumbed him down?
nightbirdblue 27
Couldn't all three on you just used the thumbs in the first place?
hashshim 23
couldn't ALL of you have just taken your own advice? Now I'm doing it...
rawr_ily96 24
I think your mom wishes you were still a kid. Either that, or she went into a coma when you were 16 and didn't come out of it for a few years and believes you're 17-19 and unmarried. In all seriousness, your mother is pretty crazy, and not in a good way.
SirTalkaton 22
Well that escalated quickly. Sorry OP. Maybe she had an encounter with the MIB and they erased that part of her memory...
MissyMiss5 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I will say I do like the phrase 'that escalated quickly' however the rest of your comment was umm... Not necessary...
MissCharlotte_fml 26
It didn't escalate at all. It just... happened. The second she walked into the office.
Dthnte 15
It's a shame she's not being supportive. Good luck with the new baby, OP! :)
xx000o 27
The new baby would be 7 years old.
dinosxxrawr 22
if your coworkers didn't know yet they do now. congratulations!
fightingkittens 39
Some mothers just can't seem to realize their kids aren't babies anymore. I imagine the rest of your family is aware of your marital status, though, and they're probably also aware of your mother's psychiatric status. Congratulations on your baby!
feelingold 18
I bet this ain't about confusion over marital status or not wanting her son to grow up... This is about moms refusing to acknowledge / not liking their precious sons' wives. I've seen it happen plenty.
drayloon 50
I don't see "30's and Pregnant" catching on anytime soon.