Today, while working in a jail, I had to tell an inmate arrested for domestic violence that no, he could not use his phone call to call me at home. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst working in a law firm, I took a call from a criminal, demanding that we apply for bail as he didn't like being in jail. When I tried to explain no one likes being in jail, he became angry and hung up the phone. FML
Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML
Today, I was arrested for DWI in my own apartment complex. I had to be released into the custody of a sober adult, but I wasn't allowed access to my phone to get any numbers. I only have a few memorized. So I was picked up from jail by my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé - my manager at work. FML
Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML
Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML
Today, I had to deal with my baby daddy, who I currently live with and was in a relationship with (but not anymore after today) cursed me out after someone who works for the county came to our home and served him papers. Mind you he’s been speaking on the phone with this person, and told them he would be home. FML
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past four months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML
Today, I ran into a good friend at work. I work at a jail. She doesn't. FML
Today, I had the cops called on me for acting suspiciously. I was using a payphone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
There's nothing you can do once he finds your number.
HunkyFes 6
You're so in ;)
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Comments (90)
Freeze_fml 17
There's nothing you can do once he finds your number.
fabian21 0
Oh, prisoners, you're so silly.
sticksandshit 0
Don't drop the soap. I mean phone.
yoyodog27 5
Exept you know put them in thier cell
judices 0
You must be ugly nd fat because in jail everybody is pretty!
Razaa09 3
Lol he really likes u. Give the guy s chance. He probably has no one to call.
Trainspotting_fml 9
Well, I don't think they'd let him call home...
HeavyScout 0
You know, I really wouldn't give anyone who's in jail for domestic violence a chance...
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If he's locked up for domestic violence, he probably has somebody to call. It's an automatic arrest violation, regardless if the victim wanted to press charges or not. The reason is more or less so both parties can calm down and talk it out the next day if they so choose.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If he's locked up for domestic violence, he probably has somebody to call. It's an automatic arrest violation, regardless if the victim wanted to press charges or not. The reason is more or less so both parties can calm down and talk it out the next day if they so choose.
Razaa09 3
Alright alright. stop freaking out here. Don't talk to him.
Phololololo 8
well maybe if he didn't beat his family up there'd be someone to call
stacianichole 2
33 - That's not true 100% of the time.
HunkyFes 6
You're so in ;)
HeavyScout 0
More like he's more in! No? Ok...
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Ye, nah.
btnhdude 0
Fist Bump, *Surpriiiise!!* PIE SMASH! NUT TAP! BITCH SLAP!
ryukensfj 5
Hahaha I'm guessing you're a girl?
edgestr 2
I sure hope so....... If not that would be an awkward situation.
236schertzi 1
He's in prison dumbs, they only put you with inmates of the same sex when you're "in the joint"
fmlmoderate 6
Op works there. Op could be a woman, and most likely is. Did you even read the FML or just felt like commenting for the sake of having your words displayed?
jefffluffingham 5
#23: why's it weird if guys hit on guys?
edgestr 2
#69: It's only awkward if the guy getting hit on is not a homosexual.
ollie179 21
If your working in jail, don't bend over near him...or anyone else for that matter.
HeavyScout 0
Thank you for those wonderful words of wisdom.
CrAzYyEt 8
lol that sucks!! people change give him a chance! jk he will kill you. run.
cbdee 8
Run 4 it!!! :P
booiloveeyou 0
LMAO!!
zachherbert 10
What's it? Run for what?
CrAzYyEt 8
run away..
zachherbert 10
Sorry.... I wish there was a sarcasm font.
sshelbyy11 6
When he asks you to pick up his soap because he accidentaly dropped it, don't do it.
DoctorKyda 5
Lazy prisoner. Cant even pick up his own nasty soap. Tsk tsk.
shaggy8778 4
Dude...someone already made that joke...can we at least be original here...
BloodyDraven 0
yeah, ur trapped, lol
perdix 31
S, S, S, S, M, M, M. C'mon, a little S&M never hurt anyone . . . wait, yes it does if you do it right, but you deserve it, you naughty pig. Probably some sore loser filed the charges. Give the guy a shot :)
Saltime 0
Bad day, perdix?
darkmis1 18
Wow! One of Perdix's comments buried?
exleonhart 0
A man can only ever go balls deep... I'm just sayin, soap or none...