Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said, "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and badly needed to pee. Just as I was about to say I had to go to the bathroom, my boyfriend suddenly put his hands around my stomach and picked me up. He hit just the right spot, causing me to empty my bladder then and there. FML
Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML
Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML
Today, while my nephews got ready for school, my boyfriend walked into the bathroom to ask me if he could accompany us to the bus stop. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hold my diarrhea anymore. As he was asking, I began to loudly relieve myself. He looked at me in shock and just said, “Oh okay, I’ll fuck off now.” FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, hanging out with him and his mom. I had to do a number two. A while later, we hear his mom in the washroom. She had turned on the bathtub and was flushing the toilet. A lot. Later on, my boyfriend leaves the room and she says, “Did you make that mess in the toilet?” FML
Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
Stanekus 0
This is obviously fake. Girls don't poop.
MAGNAVOX 0
YDI for looking like a cat, smelling like a cat, eating cat food, and for covering your poop after you relieve yourself.
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Comments (135)
CallMeHush 1
I bet that really pisses off the cat.
mona_is_here 10
Aw, that's sad, you're so miserable. Now, where's the real FML?
TechFire 25
#32 has convinced me to move to Russia.
hnz 13
go drop your load can be used for human and cats...
FYLDeep 26
Quit having sex with him. Then when he has had all he can take, say, "Okay baby, go blow your load." Make sure you use the cat voice though.
figgity83 15
the guy is weird and may like us cat more, sorry. Also nikkibeez your the hottest woman on the east coast sorry other girls.
mona_is_here 10
41, hahaha, indeed.
LilToosh 0
really? lol
figgity83 15
and yet you seemed to have cared otherwise u would have said nothing. you fail
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Dude, figgity, you've posted these comments on multiple FMLs. Just PM her already.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for sharing TMI with your BF, for dating a "man" who owns a cat, and for being FAKE b/c girls don't poop!
Jimboom 12
So what? Your man gave you permission to go to the toilet, what are you complaining about? Perhaps that is the voice he uses when trying to convey authoritee, it's not his fault it's a silly voice.
travisrocker 0
scratch the he'll out of his leg
phatdaddy62 23
gotta love auto-correct.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
yes! Or if you don't like contractions, you can even scratch the he will out of his leg, yet still be doing what #45 suggested!
sunlovinmama 1
lol
fyourlife1990 0
she probaly smells
ssfootball 2
haha nice one