Today, I started a new job. I lost my work keys and had everyone running all over the building looking for them. We found them, hanging in the last lock I had used. They now all think I'm a nut. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML
Today, I lost my keys while at the supermarket. I franticly back-tracked through the store, asking everyone I saw along the way. They eventually showed up, right where I left them... in my unattended car, the engine still running. There was an announcement made over the PA system. FML
Today, I needed the big forklift at work. The one that gets hidden by people and that has nearly no keys left because they all got lost. I had organised a key and I knew where it was parked, so nothing could go wrong. When I tried to put the key in the ignition, there was only a hole. The ignition was gone. FML
Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, it was my first day going to work with new hours where I'm in the office alone for an hour. I managed to lock myself out without my jacket, my phone, and my keys. It was raining. FML
Today, I showed up to an important meeting 20 minutes late, claiming I couldn't find my keys. They were in my hand the whole time, and I realized it just as I reached for the doorknob. Everyone saw me pause mid-step, staring at my hand in disbelief. FML
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Top comments
OnlyAvailableID 28
OP is a nut. She has a rubber butt. Whenever she turns around it goes "putt putt"!
MissGrinch 4
Just say "oops" and give a "I'm sowwy" expression. Wait, that only works for adorable animals. Darn.
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Comments (49)
Nitrous_fml 0
Sucks for you?
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds humiliating. However, such events are par for the course when you're an Earth-monkey. I have a brain the size of a planet, so I never experience such forgetfulness. However, the downside to that is the soul-crushing depression that comes with the knowledge of how utterly futile everything is. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
garrettjordan 0
that does sound like you are nutty at least they weren't in your hand :)
Lukee 0
Marvin_Android makes my morning
stephanie0613 0
Well ydi for lying !
Cjw1220 0
OP wasn't lying, she had actually forgot what she had done with her keys.
kirstensmook 0
ydi
nikkibeez 0
that sucks... OP was probably just nervous about starting a new job. that or you are just a nut :o)
benspeed25 0
you're gorgeous
Astral_Demigod 0
Creeper.
beccaaaaaaaa 5
It's not that big a deal, give it a few weeks. You'll show your true self and make plenty friends at your new job! :)
schwancy 2
Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don't.
chillinAK 9
Am I the only one whos mind hits the gutter when I hear that sing? Seriously, sing the song to yourself and see what it sounds like.
Stanekus 0
I don't see you having this job for long.
MAGNAVOX 0
If your a nut I'll be the bolt and I'll screw you:)
MAGNAVOX 0
* you're
FYLDeep 26
Could have gotten fired though. Just be glad your still there.
Tikwichka 5
*you're :P
MissGrinch 4
Just say "oops" and give a "I'm sowwy" expression. Wait, that only works for adorable animals. Darn.
NitroTonicsFML 4
I like nuts
FirstBornUnicorn 0
In your mouth?
nycy 0
first??? at what?
RedPillSucks 33
I like mounds.