Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I learned that my husband is attracted to obese, unhealthy women after celebrating my weight loss of 175lbs and improving my overall health. FML
Receipe ideas
Today, after I was surprised by my husband announcing he was coming off the drink and going to the gym to get in shape, I found out that I've been such a fool, as it turns out the pre-workout shakes he kept making contained about 5 shots of vodka, so he could drink at home without me moaning. FML
Today, I found out that the daily "vitamins" that my dad has been giving me for the last three months were actually weight loss pills. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML
Egg mode
Today, I found out my husband had a Pornhub account where he photoshops himself to look like a girl. The worst part is that I noticed he wore some of my maternity clothes in the pictures. I guess they were the only ones big enough to fit him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML
Top comments
Yellow_Fish79 11
Slip penis enlargement pills in his drinks. ;D
Miss_Michaela 10
Well, show him that you think he's constipated by slipping laxatives into his morning coffee.
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Comments (115)
beachchick9498 5
Aw I'm sorry! He's a jerk!!
OMGIFOUNDWALDO 6
Well done captain obvious! I could never had figured THAT out!
fthislyfe 22
He's not a jerk. He's just a coward. Instead of confronting her, he makes her take those useless pills.
RavagedSoul 0
Pills never work
mlb58 0
FAT chance she'll lose some weight...
leadman1989 16
18 - Agreed. Although women get really particular when men even mention their weight, but this is just beyond the pale. 22 - Alli works they even tell you not to wear light color clothing in case of "anal leakage"
rattusrattus 19
41 - Anal leakage? Eww. I'd rather lose weight slowly rather than sh*t myself all the time. Thank god I never felt the need for diet pills.
SirSquishyPants 1
Or he could have done what I did. Wife mentioned something about wanting to lose a few pounds. Told her I would jog with her and otherwise be supportive and encouraging. Just my slim imput
SirObvious 1
You mean morning shake?
miz_kamakazi 11
How come no one is asking if OP really did get fat during her marriage? Obviously the hubby should have handled it differently, but I don't think he is entirely to blame.
perdix 31
73, because you'll get shouted down by everyone who automatically takes the OP's side. Sometimes the options aren't "good" and "bad," they are "bad" and "less bad." I think the husband took the less bad option in this case. Why did the OP let herself go? Good question.
Omit 4
How is he a jerk, maybe he couldn't find a way to talk to his wife about it cuz it's not easy for sure
Alexisthebestest 16
Maybe OP had kids & is having a hard time getting the weight off. That doesn't mean she "let herself go". I think the husband had good intentions by not confronting the wife to hurt her feelings but he went about it the wrong way.
alone_unafraid 0
she let herself go, and #1 is taking op's side for the same reason.
pie29302930 0
Ew
sunlovinmama 1
Regardless of whether she is fat or not it is never ok to "slip" pills of any kind to another person without their consent. It is a dangerous and selfish thing to do, and could result in serious problems the worst being death
fml_ydi79 15
Question.... So is it only the woman who should keep herself slim and attractive? Because tbh I've seen a few guys who have gotten married and completely let go of themselves. I don't see their wives complaining... And these are attractive women who haven't let themselves go. Sorry but op's an ass.
fml_ydi79 15
I meant op's husband :(
GuessWhatKids 13
Morning smoothie? Yup you're fat. Let the bitching start....now!
Ecklcakes 15
Lets be fair, at least he only put it in one of her morning smoothies, not all 5.
NzaHaFML 13
Ouch. Now that says something.. But he didn't want to hurt your feelings at least
StephanieeeQ 6
Ahw, how sad!
Wheredidgrungego 12
Either that, or he just didn't wanna get bitched at when he confronted his wife about her weight. Men always try to avoid feminine conflict. Myself included.
mduffy08 8
She had it coming... Apparently she has a sweet tooth... Who wakes up to a smoothie anyways? Coffee is where it's at...
SillyFart 7
She'd probably have her coffee triple triple
DominiqueOhhDamn 0
89- There's a lot of people who drink morning smoothies? They're actually good for you, on the other hand coffee is not.
Yellow_Fish79 11
Slip penis enlargement pills in his drinks. ;D
13FTW 9
Or laxatives. That'll teach him.
Skittlepickle 13
"Um, no sweetie they're...vitamins."
flockz 20
there's an FML about a dude's wife putting enlargement pills in his coffee. sadly i've been here long enough to know that.
AshleighNason 24
with laxitives
SillyFart 7
It's laxatives honey.. Don't worry you're still learning you'll get there someday! :D
GTAmerc 2
I remember that! :D
tc34 1
Hahahahahaha nice one
Miss_Michaela 10
Well, show him that you think he's constipated by slipping laxatives into his morning coffee.
naughtia 14
Ipecac that should get your point across
mommapanda 0
Ipecac is too violent. My parents had to use that on me because they thought I had taken and swallowed a pill. I still have horrible flashbacks of it and I was still just a baby, about a year and a half old! Laxitives, though bad, aren't nearly as bad if done to just the right dose.
IndiRae 9
If you have a milkshake every morning...
year2015 11
she doesnt have a milkshake she has a smoothie every morning
RavagedSoul 0
You drink smoothies in the morning? Hope it is homemade.
RedPillSucks 33
That's what I was thinking. A smoothie every morning is not healthy. Maybe he's onto something, but he still should have discussed it with you instead of trying to sneak things into your food.
blizzie622 0
I have a smoothie every morning. Frozen unsweetened fruit with 8oz apple juice. It's about 300 calories. is that unhealthy? Nope
RavagedSoul 0
30 - Interesting I would like to try one. How do you make one? Any website and etc.?
je_suis_fml 11
Idk, 14, maybe she's having fruit smoothies. No harm in having apples, bananas mixed with ice every morning. :)
Kurochrome 17
14 - I have a morning smoothie every morning. Low Fat milk and fresh strawberries and bananas. It's not unhealthy at all, especially if it's the only thing you have in the mornings, or if it's just something to hold you over until you're finished working out. Even if you're having something else with it, it's fine. Chances are, the husband is just a dick.
NotAPedo 0
I have smoothies every morning. I especially love mine with butter instead of milk, substitute the fruit with chunks of cookies and chocolate, mixed with cup loads of sugar. If I'm feeling confident i add mayonnaise on top of it all. This tasty morning treat is then followed with sitting my ass in front of the tv all day.
blizzie622 0
14 no real recipe or website. Just some frozen fruit and juice. Easy and delish
th4m4ster 6
pretend to slip something into his drink, make sure he sees u doing do then when he asks say its penis enlargement pills
Hockey_fan 0
...why not just slip the pills into his drink instead of pretending?....
niebauer 9
I don't think it was that bad. You meant well.
Savra_fml 17
*sigh* OP meant well? What, she is the one putting smoothie in her husbands' diet pills?
zoeypony98 0
I'm sure you are just beautiful the way you are! Don't let that faze you.
alone_unafraid 0
wow, the white knight is strong in this one... Listen doll, stand in front of a mirror. If the shoe fits, wear it. Then get a smaller foot.
lizamaphone 6
... LMAO. No she DI for being fat
CoreyMan01 10
Well sometimes women aren't always perfect and men aren't either. People need to accept the fact that she is fat in her husband's eyes and maybe their relationship might last if she drops a few lbs. Maybe don't sneak pills in to her drink though.
FMLsOhilarious 6
At least he's honest in a not so direct way
onecrazybitch 0
Then that's not honest at all..
InfiniteSecret 20
What he did wasn't honest at all
cptmorgan6 8
Poor guy's not gonna get sex for a long time.
Melissa92_fml 13
Poor guy? It's his fault for being an insensitive jerk in the first place
cptmorgan6 8
I see we can only make serious comments on FML now. Thanks for the heads up.
Melissa92_fml 13
That's not necessarily true, I'm allowed to make a comment just the same as you have