Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left to go home for Christmas holidays. I got 3 hours away and realised I forgot the presents. Along with the engagement ring I was going to give to my girlfriend. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been dating for over a year, was going to Florida for a short trip with a few friends without me since I couldn't get work off. She asked me to put her iPod in her bag for her as she was almost ready to walk out the door. That's when I saw she'd packed 10 condoms with her. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
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Top comments
Stranger32 5
Why were you guys keeping the used ones? To cherish the good memories when you get old?
great_nate 26
Proper Disposal.
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Comments (48)
copperlund 14
Good luck! You'll need it!
AyeJay101 25
Hope Santa brings you a bullet proof vest.
great_nate 26
Proper Disposal.
danm19 15
On the plus side at least he knows your practicing safe sex
Qandol 26
Which dad is really okay with his daughter having sex?, safe or unsafe wouldn't matter.
sweetpotato301 7
Sane, reasonable ones? Obviously no dad LIKES the thought of his daughter having sex but he'd have to be pretty crazy to not be okay with it if she's an appropriate age.
scyth3s 13
25, it's about time dads got their heads out of the 1950s. Making your children ashamed and afraid to talk to you about safe sex is how you get teenage pregnancies. Any parent who simply says "not in my house" or "not my kid" is causing a significant amount of harm. Those parents need to grow the **** up.
bigbadbarley 1
You had sex?With your GIRLFRIEND? What the hell is wrong with you!
Stranger32 5
Why were you guys keeping the used ones? To cherish the good memories when you get old?
GhostFox 34
As in either a empty condom box or empty condom wrapper. The foil packet that the condom itself is in is makes the most sense right now. One probably fell out of the garbage and the father found it.
Bearsmomma 30
OP did not say they kept a used condom. Only that the dad found the empty wrapper.
emh86 14
I remember mum found a condom wrapper while hanging out my sheets once while I was at school.. when she confronted me about it I brought up the question "well would you rather I didn't use them?" she never brought it up again :)
Mauskau 36
I had a similar thing, I put it in the communal bathroom bin and my sister figured out it was me because she was on the pill and so was my brother's girlfriend at the time. I had just turned 15 so my mum took me to the clinic to go on the pill within the same week. Honestly, from hearing how some parents react, I hope more parents act like my mum did.
ReineRien 5
i hope you still wore condoms until you and your boyfriend got tested first, because the pill doesn't protect from STDs..
kskjon 12
Unless you are like 15 years old, I really don't see what problem your gf's dad would have with this. Is this something unique to USA?
luze_fml 0
I can assume the OP is underage or has very religious parents.
scyth3s 13
Even if she is 15, as long as he is similar in age I don't see an issue. Sex and sexual appeal is a huge component of self esteem for many people, and safe sex is a healthy thing. Dads just need to not live in the 1950s.
sweetpotato301 7
I'm assuming you're quite young? If not, I don't see why he cares.
species4872 20
Will always be daddy's little girl.
sweetpotato301 7
Still weird though, if he actually got angry and they're over a certain age. I get that he probably doesn't love the thought of his daughter having sex (just as I don't particularly like the thought of my dad having sex) but if he actually got angry that's a bit ridiculous.
tazthespaz 0
My area is super conservative. Mainly amongst the older generations, sex is a terribly taboo subject, especially if the couple isn't married. The younger generations really don't care so much, but keep it all on the down low from the parents and grandparents. That may be the case with OP.
A7XCamaro 19
It was in his house, that's why he is allowed to be mad. No matter the age, sex in the parents house, especially in the girlfriends parents house, is highly frowned upon.
sweetpotato301 7
I guess that's more understandable 29. I still find that weirdly conservative though. I'd get him being angry if it was in a bed that other people sleep in but if it was in the OP's girlfriend's bed I still really don't see the issue. That's just me though, his house his rules I guess.
scyth3s 13
No, that does not make 29s point reasonable. She's most likely underage, meaning she lives with dad. DAD chose to have a kid, kid did not choose to live with dad. She doesn't really have a choice about where to safely have sex like he does. You can't use that choice as leverage. Dad needs to understand that teens will have sex regardless of what he wants. If he makes his kids ashamed to talk about it or do it, that's horribly toxic and is how you get teen pregnancies. Dad needs to be rational about the topic. he's an adult and has no excuse for letting his retarded unreasonable emotions dictate his actions towards his kid.
sweetpotato301 7
Well yeah, that's why I said I still find it weirdly conservative. And yeah there's no point just getting angry- they should be taught about safe sex. But it shouldn't just be left alone as if two, say, 13 year olds having sex is perfectly okay.
thehaystackerine 20
you still alive?