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Wednesday 17 July 1985

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lovers5201

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Yulia - 09/03/2009 10:09 - United States

Today, my mom decided to give me a solid reason for not having pre-marital sex. She told me that my future husband will want me to be tight for our first time. My mom and I were on a ski lift. The ride lasted 10 more uncomfortable minutes. FML

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Considerate boyfriend

Anonymous - 29/05/2013 07:17 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

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ktorih137 - 14/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

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WeakerThanaLittleGirl - 05/02/2013 01:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

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Chouse - 07/09/2012 01:56 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, during my uncle's funeral, my four year old loudly asked, "Where's all the dead people?" FML

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