Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
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Top comments
xXwolflegionXx 8
Take it back to their house and say "keep your shit off my doorstep"
thisisafunnyname 12
hey, sgit happens
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Comments (113)
Sniper3000 0
That is total bull shit fyl
rulezdunmatter 12
Actually, it's dog shit, not bull shit.
perdix 31
Go get a dog, and then keep him out of the neighbor's yard. That'll show him! Hah!
BeefyQueef 5
Its so crazy it just might work
IKickPuppiesHard 16
^ That icon looks familiar. I just dont know why.
blazingdaily 3
38 - If you're a grammar Nazi, why did you forget a simple apostrophe?
BeefyQueef 5
I must say 43, you do have an excellent taste in profile pictures. And I did actually notice that I forgot the apostrophe, I was just too lazy to fix it and hoped no one would notice
Enslaved 38
This is the first time I noticed that there is an "animal" category on FML. (:
FYLDeep 26
It's somewhat new.
perdix 31
Keep in mind that stories about "cats," "roosters" and "donkeys" still belong in the Intimacy category. ;)
doltkid 3
Yum...
MelLuvsYuhhh 8
Some people...
mintcar 10
Why would they go through the trouble of doing something like that in the first place? I wouldn't take their shit if I were you.
perdix 31
Put the dogshit on the real owner's doorstep with a note that says, "Keep your dog out of your neighbor's yard, and your ******* insane neighbor off my ******* doorstep!"
Awsumuzzie 12
I always appreciate reading more than one comment by you, on the same FML. This might sound sarcastic, but that's because it's not.
rulezdunmatter 12
That's normal. He is, after all a FML God.
flockz 20
how brown is your nose?
rulezdunmatter 12
Perdix, how brown is your excrement?
benderbot19 0
Did I miss the ass kissing party AGAIN?!?? Perdix, send me e-vites!!
kimono_fml 17
I've never gave a comment thumbs up that deserved it so much
DKjazz 20
#60- Somewhere between beige and taupe based on his mood.
rubberduckie94 13
lol
himynameis0 0
Looks like your in a "shitty" situation xD
rulezdunmatter 12
When are people on this site going to learn that shit-related puns aren't appreciated here?
zingline89 18
We should kindly ask the moderators to moderate all "shitty situation" comments
rulezdunmatter 12
That would be too much trouble. Easier to let them get thumbed down and hidden.
FYLDeep 26
Your neighbor is dogshit crazy.
FYLDeep 26
There's not much to work with on this FML. Most angles were already worked when I got here.
HatefulPilot 0
Looks like you're in the dog house, now.