Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
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Top comments
xXwolflegionXx 8
Take it back to their house and say "keep your shit off my doorstep"
thisisafunnyname 12
hey, sgit happens
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Comments (113)
hoodyNOT2shoes 0
"Well I don't own a dog dipshit."
froggeh 4
lol :P
iTz_Tune 0
Shit stank. *Runs away from the Haters*
Okayitwasme 0
Post a sign, no dogs allowed! No pets or soliciting!
CbDemyx 1
You can only hope that it was dog shit.
MidnightOrchid 3
If you know/figure out who did it, you should put shit on their doorstep with a note saying "I dont own a dog asshole"
jbchica 7
How could someone possibly say they deserve this? Seriously!
ThaKoolKidsKlub 3
OldMan Clemens strikes again!
Track1991 0
Haha oh my gosh that is terrible. I would've yelled out loud, " I DON'T HAVE A ******* DOG!"
13linz 1
Get ur own bag of dog shit put it on their porch n set it on fire! Or Wuts worse is cat piss so if they have a rug or plant or somethin on their porch or wutevr pour the cat piss on/in it! Lmfao