Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Today, I came home to find a note on my door from the neighbor saying, "I saw a coyote eat your dog, but was afraid it was rabid." FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
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Top comments
xXwolflegionXx 8
Take it back to their house and say "keep your shit off my doorstep"
thisisafunnyname 12
hey, sgit happens
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Comments (113)
shots1996 8
Go be a dog walker. Get about 6 dogs and take them to that yard and let them shit all over the place
DevilsMetsGiants 30
shit on their doorstep
TehAngryLoli 4
Well, now you have to go to all your neighbors and scream in their faces, "I DON'T OWN A MOTHER ******* DOG! YOU ARE PAYING TO HAVE MY SHOES CLEANED AND YOU ARE ******* CLEANING THE GOT DAMN DOG SHIT OFF MY MOTHER ******' PORCH YOU ASS WIPE! GO NOW BEFORE I GET THE COPS INVOLVED!" It doesn't matter if it wasn't the neighbor you were yelling at who did the dog shit thing, after screaming at them the perp. will hop to it. Unless they are intellegent enough to act, of course they put dog shit on the wrong persons property so I doubt it. Could have also been a prank. Oh, and if you had already cleaned your porch(which I'm sure you did by now), demand retribution. Or just get the cops involved anyway.
Tvolsfan325 13
Throw at their door
fatalwish 6
Lol figure out who did it and leave them a pile and a note that states you dont own one!
AmarSM 7
Than you should own a dog
Cheerieful_fml 2
Shitted on em'
kainpwnsu 19
Sounds like you had a really shitty day.
ricosuave_r8 0
Im sooo sorry to hear you dont have a dog anymore.I figured you and shannon would never break up