anonymous
France
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Ireland
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
fucking mafia or what??
Marysville, United States
Spooked
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
sammyxoxo
Canada
Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML
Cassie
Pick it up
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
ev_lyn_aw
It wasn't me, or him
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Anonymous
Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML
BaliTheDog
France
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML
KittenShitz
My reward
Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML
Top comments
alexandraa_fml 0
Did you know flaming bags of poop cause bacterial fungi infections causing hemmorages to the carrotid artery and lead to blue palpatations of the endocrine sweat glands when stepped on? Leading cause of death in the US. If only more people were aware of the danger.
pooter_stink 0
Billy Madison anyone???
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Comments (159)
Eaglestrike117 29
LAST
Eaglestrike117 29
Sorry. That does suck though. Did it smell?
Seannnn 0
lmao :p, fyl bro XD
daniel1_1 13
lol
cdilink 0
GOOD AS HELL
MetroidSlayer01 8
what are you replying to?
iluvsidney 0
why in the world would u put ytdi
cornyrob 33
Because flaming dog poop is never placed without cause
iluvsidney 0
mfmylifesrsly 30
@57 because one should know it was dogshit on fire. lol reminds me of disturbia (the movie).
xboxsucks 0
haha that's great stuff!!! I do it all the time.
picabo889 11
well obviously ahaha, classic
strawberry6826 0
how would u kno. for all th op knows it cuda been a bag of leaves.
Rapture333 0
for a second I thought it said put in fire, then dissapointed
bear_blaster 0
@81 oh yeah cause everybody lights bags of leaves on ppls porches, dumbass
bigone135 0
I'd like to bang u with my ten incher [email protected]
demonic562 0
ur hot
responses 0
I've never understood why they set it on fire?is it because it smells worse on fire?
mfmylifesrsly 30
@115 who's hot?
jordpears 0
you ;)
mfmylifesrsly 30
oh lol thanks haha
blackmessiah 0
it was probably me.
xthetisx 0
it's because when people see something on fire on their front porch their initial reaction is to put it out with their foot..
itchyballs 0
ha! man i love lightin shit on peoples porches. one guy chased us for an hour afterwards
pottie69 0
1
pooter_stink 0
Billy Madison anyone???
basketballFMLs 0
haha yeah he probably copied it of off that
Blame_The_Dog 0
that's what you get for not keeping your lights on during Halloween mo'fuckahh!
ily1210 10
LMFAO that hilarious my bro use to do that to people
superHydrate 4
right on einstien!! is that how you write einstine??
ipooprainbows 0
close, Einstein. lol!
judea95 16
Your brother is a dick
fuckedupp 0
Woow someone had it out for you. or you just happened to have a house that caught their attention. let's hope it was the later.
alexandraa_fml 0
Did you know flaming bags of poop cause bacterial fungi infections causing hemmorages to the carrotid artery and lead to blue palpatations of the endocrine sweat glands when stepped on? Leading cause of death in the US. If only more people were aware of the danger.
krislea10 0
#11 you know your stuff =) I mean obviously burning poo isn't gonna be good but I didn't know it could do all that.....
DonkeyDelight 0
You certainly know your flaming poop, from experience?
HoesInaBox 0
alright so now it is scientifically proven that burning poo can lead to death. future nobel prize for #11 :)
ShadowzI 0
I know who to turn to for advice on combusted fecal mater.
ipooprainbows 0
and its blue. don't forget about that! i've taken numerous high level science courses, including medical microbiology, and i've never heard that. i guess teenagers on fml know way more about the health hazards of flaming poo than all those doctorate degrees.......
boatkicker 5
Not to mention, even if it did cause all those (semi-existant, and yet unrelated) problems, you'd think it would cause them by being near it, or touching it with skin. Not stepping on it, presumably with a shoe (because who steps on fire, barefoot!)
iknowthatguy 0
flamming bags of poo cause blue balls? son of a...
ipooprainbows 0
lol! ^ and i thought cancer was the leading cause of death in the US. hmm. learn something new every day on fml
alexandraa_fml 0
I would like to say I have a Masters in BS...... Biomecular Scientology. I know what I am talking about.
alexisthename 0
LOL @ people getting mad at you because they think you're serious Your name rocks, by the way.
alexandraa_fml 0
I laughed so hard when I came back and saw all this, Lol. Ohh thanks! So does yours!! :)
alexandraa_fml 0
Oh boohoo. Please. It may not be YOUR idea of funny but just because we dont share the same sense of humor doesn't mean you have to jump down my throat.
ipooprainbows 0
i thought BS = bull shit
ipooprainbows 0
nobody is getting mad, just having a discussion.
airforce987 20
congradafuckinlations you guys are pathetic!!!
rockediny 0
veggieman, ur a doucebag. try to relax.
HoesInaBox 0
i pity you. I guess sarcasm is not meant for everyone ^
mrmystery96 0
wow 37, 40, and 42 are way too literal. I mea n seriously, it's called sarcasm!
alexandraa_fml 0
It obviously contributed to a few giggles atleast.. :( Oh well, it's alright, none taken.
omnistryder 0
arguing on the internet is like competing in the worlds smallest penis competition... there is no winner. not trying to offend anyone, just stop
Zills 0
95 = win
bear_blaster 0
veggie man, your an asshole, and Alexandraa you are beautifull
alexandraa_fml 0
Why thankyou :)
CallMeHush 1
Veggieman, reach around, pull the stick out of your butt and lighten up. :D
freaky592 2
1 word....... NERD!!!!! lol jk but you really know ur stuff
mikegg 0
i laughed at this because she's a blonde. go ahead, negitive vote this. just my opinion :x
Pearljammer001 0
you, err good ma'am, win! ^^^
HinduSpartan 2
THAT POOP AGAIN! lol fyl
Pearljammer001 0
btw that win belongs to #11
ncurtsak 0
that really sucks you must have done something to deserve it I bet or maybe it was a friend??