Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I put Christmas wrapping on old books and things I already own, because I realized that it's the only way I'll have anything under the tree this year. FML
Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
Today, we spent hours decorating the Christmas tree, perfectly balancing the lights, ornaments, and tinsel. Ten minutes later, the cat thought it was a right time to reenact Die Hard and climbed up the tree, knocking it over. Now my ornaments are shattered, and my cat is smugly sitting in the wreckage. FML
Today, my dad and stepmom came back from a very expensive two-month trip across the world. When they got home, they had more gifts for their cat than for me. FML
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Top comments
gmaniac93 7
Pussy whipped.
windfuelsfire 10
Well merry catmas to you, since you seem to religiously rever your cat
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Comments (150)
windfuelsfire 10
Well merry catmas to you, since you seem to religiously rever your cat
rdrr 2
It could up ending in a catastrophe!
Nekogami 14
Merry catmas to you all! OP: your priorities are in the right place. Don't worry. We know the cat has a hold over you that is near hypnotic. It's what they do! They are our fuzzy overlords. It's good to pay them homage.
LolPieRofl 11
Your comment is irrelevant to the original comment therefore you are branded threadjacker.
crazycatlady5 6
90 - and yours is relevant how?
AphyTheBronette 15
Yea and your is also relevant how? O.o keep the thread going!!
heygirlie777 21
You mean Meowy catmas!!
Gaaaahfyl 3
How about picking up a musical instrument? Or trying a new sport?
daytoday21 10
Love your cat if you want, but at least admit to yourself that what you did was buy a bunch of presents for *yourself.* how about trying to make someone else happy, huh?
ICastillo 25
Hey Dr. Phil?
andromeda335 9
Cats deserve happiness and exercise like anyone else!
FMLshark 12
You're right, 3. I love playing with catnip and chasing little fake mice. I buy those for myself all the time.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
74 you need to be careful. I had my run in with catnip back when I was a young lad. It's an addiction many people don't quit.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
74 you need to be careful. I had my run in with catnip back when I was a young lad. It's an addiction many people don't quit.
red_headforlife 15
Well I'm pretty sure the cat is happy.
andromeda335 9
I really love that all the people who are like "yeah, no life" basically show everyone else that they've never had a pet they've loved like a child, or rescued one and saw how much they appreciated it...
gmaniac93 7
Pussy whipped.
MidnaLink 35
gmaniac93 FTW!
hippo1234 19
MidnaLink FTFail!
cokemollett 6
Ha
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Hoes before bros mate, gotta please the pussy before you can worry about family!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe it's time for me to retire from commenting, I really haven't been doing too well lately. :P
Pleonasm 36
Voters are just very whimsical.
Charmillionaire 13
22 - You could try your luck in the pun department. I'm sure Pleo here can help you
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I do enjoy a good pun every so often, but I'd feel like I was cheating Pleo if I made that my main thing. I guess I just need to not comment unless I have something interesting to say, and not be so insecure about thumbs regardless. :P
lilhellian 27
36 Come to us in the Don't give a **** department... Just post what you feel should be posted and have confidence:) If not then watch them mud wrestlers... :D
Dracoboxer357 36
36- If it makes you feel any better, everyone has off days and such for commenting. Even Doc and Perdix get negative reviews here and there, and I promise you, they don't care about it in the least. :) Don't stress the thumbs, but if it makes you feel any better, I enjoy 90% of the comments made in general, and you fall into the majority. :) Chin up, Troll! ;)
Pleonasm 36
Also, if it consoles you, tell yourself that there will always be someone with more downvotes than you! Which is, let's face it, pradip most of the time.
ICastillo 25
Come on #36 screw it man just comment, I haven't been doing to well either, but **** it we'll eventually get some funny ones out.
pradip 26
22 think about me before quitting. Once upon a time I was always getting thumbed down, but see now. Wait, This is sarcasm.
lilhellian 27
If you quit we won't have a troll:(
ICastillo 25
Well pradip one day you will make a comment that will get a thousand thumb ups in an hour. You just have to believe and make a funny comment.
Nekogami 14
I got over 75 down votes on one of my reply to a comment comments. It doesn't stop me from being a snarky ass. Don't worry. I like your humour. Don't give up!
SenselessPattern 12
54 - classic pradip...
LiterOfCola 16
Hahaha I legitimately belted out laughing at Pradips buried comment and the "classic Pradip" comment that followed.
0RedPenguin0 8
It amazes me that the community on a website that's about laughing at other people's shitty lives is so supportive...
ICastillo 25
Hey we may laugh at other people's misery, but deep down we care.
FML_Whale 18
It's because everybody else's misery makes us feel good about ourselves. And we spread that good feels throughout the comments. Unless we're just assholes.
Spazz420 7
Have a mice day and Best Fishes!!
pradip 26
Ew. Do you feed your cats Mice and fishes?
Spazz420 7
Have a nice day best wishes. But cat style. It's actually a Family Guy Reference
pradip 26
Hell they won't air family guy at my place. Sorry for the misunderstanding
billyz77 24
So you love your kitty but are ambivalent towards your family? Hmmm. I see nothing wrong with that.
AKGirlinSD 20
Maybe OP hasn't figured out what to get each family member yet. Think about it: he/she has asked what each person wants and no one has gotten back to him/her. Therefore, that person isn't going to buy some random junk because they want the recipient to enjoy and use the present. That's what I do every year. My sister hasn't gotten back to me and she will get peanuts for Xmas if she doesn't hurry up...joking.
codyfyl 3
Wat
connerwonner 7
You wanted the first comment so bad that you couldn't even type "What?" correctly?
Pleonasm 36
Wut
Rei_Ayanami 18
I'm not sure they were after first comment 10 minutes after the fact. Get off ye highhorse.
lilhellian 27
20 First 10ish spots are good.. They usually stay on first page and typically get seen the most...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I prefer "wot" myself. Adds a bit of class, no?
gc327072 31
LOLWUT >_>
unknown_user5566 27
What what, in the butt?
Pleonasm 36
This is nothing cat-astrophic, there's nothing wrong with wanting your cat to have a purrfect holiday.
ICastillo 25
Agreed, I don't see why OP is feline so bad about it.
Nekogami 14
Castillo takes the furrlawless victory! :P
Pleonasm 36
But only by a whisker!
_wraith 15
Careful with the puns, guys, or else will have a hairball effect and no one will be able to contain it.
Nekogami 14
Purrhaps by a whisker. But as vin diesel said. It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile, you still won. ;)
Obey_StudBoii 23
Crazy cat lady at it again >_